


Wishful Thinking [vol. i]

by jjanus



Series: Wishful Thinking [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Anime, Gen, Humour, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, but then there is more, it starts out all platonic, nice, some weebshit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 13:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16766218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjanus/pseuds/jjanus
Summary: You knew that Ms. Dara's cookies and cakes were too good to be apart of this world. But, here you are. Stuck in an anime, just like the weird fanfiction your friend made you read (against your will).Good news is, it's an anime you kind of know.The bad news?There is a 95% chance you could die.{naruto various x sarcastic!reader}





	1. A Series of Strange, Yet Somehow Perfectly Explainable Events

As you look back on what had just occurred in the past 30 minutes, by all means, it was improbable that you could have gotten yourself into this mess. But then again, it was not always clear to how you got yourself in this situation. Maybe it was not your fault in the first place. After all, was it really your fault that you decided to return the package at your door, for the single reason that it did not belong to you but to Ms Dara, the nice old lady next door who always made an excuse to gift you with freshly baked goods, her macadamia and white chocolate cookies were pieces of heaven in bite sized pieces that - you were not embarrassed to admit – you would kill for.

It was definitely not your fault when the package exploded in your face when you reached the nicely painted white door of Ms Dara, which you yourself had just painted 2 weekends ago in return for the buttery goodness of Ms Dara's famed apple pie.

Hence, by proof of common sense and the need to not be the one to blame, you have concluded that it was not your fault. Which, surprisingly, made a whole lot more sense than it should.

If anything did not make sense, it was the fact that your face had not been blown off or your eyes blinded by the brilliant flash of white when the package did explode. But here you are, unharmed, dazed, and surprisingly not dead. Well, not dead, yet. Considering the fact that you are currently suspended at least 200 metres in the air, over a nice green and luscious forest, but, it was most likely that you – according to the ancient laws of physics in cartoons - will not be floating any longer. The sound of wind whooshing past your ears and clothes did in fact prove you right of the falling to your death hypothesis.

Nice.

You get to fall to your death. At least it will quick and painless.

Well, hopefully.

Hurtling towards the ground at an acceleration of 10 metres per second [thank you high school physics teacher for this useless, yet surprisingly, insightful fact] you wondered if you would ever get to taste Ms Dara’s rich and decadent triple-chocolate cake with strawberries ever again.

As your body rushed towards a small clearing in the forest, you came into terms with your imminent death, even daring to do a couple of somersaults and silly poses on your descent.

Just as you were about to hit the tree line, you could feel your body slow down gradually until you were gently placed upon the grassy ground softly. This strange occurrence allowed to think, _‘Huh. I’m either going insane, or there is some strange shit going down,’_ Before the appearance of a bright light and Ms Dara’s glowing form appeared before you. Which then gave way to the thoughts, _‘Ms Dara either gave me pot brownies, or I’m suddenly the main character of a new story who is about to gain seriously overpowered powers.’_

Ms Dara, as stated before, was your kind neighbour. She was an old woman, who gave off a loving grandmother vibe, further accentuated by her flowery, woolly cardigans, her gold-rimmed round glasses and her perfume [which was Chanel No. 5]. She always seemed to have a small, knowing and warm smile on her face, with twinkling kind hazel eyes that sparkled cheerfully when she smiled bright and wide, accentuating the deep crows feet at the corners of her eyes.

In conclusion, she looked like a harmless old lady.

But, that conclusion was quickly dashed when Ms Dara turned into a beautiful, youthful woman right in front of your eyes. It’s official. You’re definitely dead and there is something resembling an afterlife. Well, you believed all that until Ms Dara spoke in that sweet voice of hers.

“Hello, [f.name]. I’ve watched you for a while, and you are definitely someone who will do a lot of good. Especially in this world. Come, let me fill you in.” Ms Dara said, reaching out her hand to take yours, a warm smile still plastered on her face.

_‘What the fuck?’_ You thought to yourself, before reaching for her hand. Your [colour] eyes puzzled, as you stood up. Just as Ms Dara was about to lead you who-knows-where, you froze, effectively stopping Ms Dara from walking any further. She sent you a quizzical stare and had opened her mouth to speak when you interrupted her with, “Wait, what is happening? You were old-looking around a minute ago, and not to offend you or anything, but that transformation thing you did. Yeah, that was hella creepy.”

You even had the audacity to slump back onto the ground, your hands gripping your head in confusion, whilst you rambled on. A lilting laugh, made you raise your head and watch as Ms Dara chuckled. _‘Okay, a little rude, Ms Dara. Yeah, let's go laugh at the girl who is suffering from 'what-the-fuck-is-this-itis.’_ You thought, before Ms Dara spoke in that gentle tone of hers, “My child, [f.name]. I am, what you may call, a benevolent guardian angel. I have taken you out of your world into another, because I believe you can change the fate of some of the people around here in this world.”

Resigned to your fate, you gingerly stood back up again, and brushed the dirt off your pants. Shoulders slumped, eyes tired, you asked, “And what world would this be?”

“Oh, it’s Naruto. I have heard that your friend has shown you a couple of episodes?”

Ms Dara’s prompt response made you freeze. Great. Your probability of surviving was probably dwindling in the single digits at that revelation.

“Don’t worry. I will be giving you a few tools to help you along the way.” You 'kind' guardian angel added, before she grabbed your hands in hers. “I know how much you like Princess Azula’s fire-bending power in that little cute T.V. show. So, I’ll give you elemental bending powers.” Ms Dara grinned, before quickly adding, “Oh, I’m also giving you this handy handbook that has tips and tricks on what to do when you’re in another dimension!”

And before you could protest, a small book was shoved into your hands and a bright white light blinded you once again.

Out of every fictional universe your 'guardian angel' could have dumped you in, she chose the one you had the least knowledge of? The only knowledge you even had were the following dot points:

  * Naruto was the main character.
  * Something about ninjas?



And if you tried to think very hard, you could remember another couple of dot points:

  * A duck-but?
  * There’s some strange evil shit going on, like some demons or something, and
  * This was playing out exactly like that fanfiction your friend made you read.



You awoke, curled up on the cold, hard ground. Blinking your eyes quickly to get rid of the block spots that danced in your vision, you sat up slowly, wincing at the pounding headache that thrummed in your ears. Taking a quick look around you felt the handbook your lousy guardian angel gave you safely tucked away underneath your clothes, and you also noticed two people looking at you as if you were some weird anomaly.

But, to be fair, you were just some random person they found passed out on the ground, so you could forgive them for that. Groaning, you stood up slowly, walked a couple of metres towards the two figures – who looked like they were ready to cut your head off – croaked out a measly, “Where am I?” before passing out once again as you collapsed.

**First impressions: 6.5 out of 10.**

**Probability of survival: 38.24%**


	2. New Dimension Basics

I awake to the sterile smell that reminded me of the GP I always avoided and the sights of blinding lights and a spotless white interior. I could feel the small notebook safely tucked away into the band of my underwear, and a bandage wrapped firmly around my head. A quiet gasp and almost indistinguishable mutter of, "She's awake," Let me know that there was another person in the room, before the sound of a chair screeching across a linoleum floor and light footsteps that faded slowly alerted me of that person's disappearance. I let out a loud groan and lazily took out the small black notebook, my eyebrow twitching as I read the obnoxious title printed in racing-car red: _'A Comprehensive How-to Guide for the Newly Initiated Dimension Travellers.'_

Letting out a resigned sigh, I turned to the first chapter, which was conveniently titled, _'Chapter 1: New Dimension Basics.'_ Before reading the first couple of passages:

_**Step 1 - Regain Your Bearings** _

_It is always best to orientate yourself first, i.e. to 'place yourself on an imaginary map', before considering any other actions. The easiest way to do this is by asking people (what a shocker) where you are instead of pretending to know. It might also be a good idea to ask, what year is this or what the current date is._

_It might be tempting to say, "My time travel machine worked!" But this may place unnecessary expectations onto yourself, which will surely 'bite you in the ass' in the future. This statement may also cause grievous bodily harm and/or death. An example is the tragic demise of dimension traveller #24012000, when she was sent to the dimension A110 - time point 1426. Though it was #24012000 18th time saving valuable lives, they were unable to meet the required target [Joan of Arc] as #24012000 was sentenced to death for witchcraft and their body was unable to be recovered._

_Handy Tip #1: Ask for map of the land and/or country/city you are in._

_Handy Tip #2: Don't reveal or say anything that may jeopardise your health, well-being and, most importantly, life._

After reading the passage, I felt my stomach drop. The revelation that people have died because of this so called dimension travelling made me sick.

Death was permanent. There are no do-overs, no second-tries. You don't get a second chance.

I could feel the tears welling-up in the corner of my eyes as I let this new information sink in. Taking in a few deep breaths, I continued to read:

_**Step 2 - Establishing an Alibi** _

_It is a bad idea to disclose information on how you came to be where you are now. If anything, the truth will make them suspicious and paranoid, however a lie will break the trust you will build with them later on. Therefore, it is easier to just pretend you have a 'sixth sense' and amnesia. It will be easier for all characters involved, and most importantly yourself, in the future that you do not indulge them to the facts of your origin._

_If pressed to establish where you came from, it is just easier to say, "I don't know." Or, "I don't remember." Or any other variant of the two._

_Handy Tip #3: The more tears you put into your performance, the more believable you will be. Tears will trigger a human's (or other highly intelligent being if the world does not have humans) empathetic response. That is, be as convincing as you possibly can._

_Note: lying about whether you know a language or not will dampen your chances of survival by at least 30%._

The sound of footsteps approached the door to what I now deemed as my, 'Let's throw [f.name] a pity party', room got louder. Fighting back the waterworks, I quickly shove the little guide back into my underwear and glance at the door expectantly.

* * *

The Hokage didn't know is he should be worried or suspicious of a strange girl that Izumo and Kotetsu had found at the Konoha gates. The girl was ice-cold to the touch and barely breathing when they brought her in, and after some thought, he settled for worried.

The nurse had quickly informed him of the girl's awakening and he took it upon himself to discover where she was from. Shaking his head in amusement as he heard the laughter of children outside, he quietly opened the door of the girl's temporary room, his soft gaze landing on the wide awake [colour] haired girl.

"My child, do you know where you are?"

* * *

I blinked slowly, letting the old man's words fly completely over my head. I might die in this world, but I'll be damned if I don't go down in history as the world's best actress.

Willing for the tears to well up in my eyes once more, I promptly burst into tears in front of the two people who had made their way to my bedside. Covering my face with both of my hands, I just wailed as if everyone I knew and loved disappeared. Which was, most likely, not a lie.

Wailing loudly, I felt fat crocodile tears slide down my cheeks as I cry out a barely distinguishable, "I miss my parents." A hand pet my head soothingly, as if prompting me to give more details. Keeping both step 1 and 2 of the handbook in mind, I sobbed out a fake scenario that would put fake YouTube apology videos to shame.

"I don't know how I g-got here. I c-can't remember how. I don't e-even know where I am! It was just supposed to be a game of hide-and-seek with my friends, b-but now I'm here? I don't even know where here is?!"

I wailed and continued to bawl my eyes out for a few more minutes, before I let it die down slowly to a couple of sniffles and tearful hiccups. Muttering a quiet thank you as the old man passed me a few tissues, I asked in a whispered, "What is this place?"

"You're in Konoha Hospital, my child." The old man replied, a kind smile on his face. "I am Hiruzen Sarutobi, the third Hokage."

* * *

_'Hm, okay. A man of power and influence. That's nice to know, but what year is it?'_ You thought to yourself, your brain operating at least ten times quicker than it would when you would take a mathematics test. You blinked slowly, before turning to face the Hokage with a small and quivering smile, "This may sound strange, but ah, can I ask what the date is?"

The Hokage chuckled, "No question is too strange, and it's the 5th of January."

Was it strange to say that the Hokage reminded you of your grandmother? Old. Wise. Gentle. Could kick your ass when needed to? God dang, the thought of your family made tears well up in your eyes again, at least you can say that if you burst into tears once more that it was method acting. You were too busy caught up in your thoughts to realise that the nurse had checked all of your vitals and that the Hokage was asking a question.

A hand ruffling your [length] [colour] hair startled you out of your daze, as he asked, "What's your name, small one?"

A small smile wormed its way onto your face as you replied in probably the softest voice you could muster, "[f.name]. My name is [f.name] [l.name]."

**First impressions: 8 out of 10**

**Acting skills: 11 out of 10**

**Probability of survival: 48.32%**


	3. Blending In

After that whole fiasco of waking up, passing out, then waking up once again, only to pass out again, then finally waking up and being able to stay awake, the Hokage (bless his heart) had allowed you to stay with him.

You had a small room to yourself, a couple of belongings that he had given you, such as clothes, a bed and a couple of small bits and pieces, and most importantly of all, your privacy. You lay, slumped on the comfy bed, staring angrily at the small black handbook. Unsurprisingly, step 3 of chapter 1 was _'Finding a Place to Stay.'_

**_Step 3 - Finding a Place to Stay_ **

_This will, most likely, be the hardest step to complete. Finding a place to stay is often difficult due to the fact that you are an anomaly. However, the best people to ask for a place to stay are in fact, no offence, old and single people. Especially women._

_If you appeal to the motherly or fatherly side of people, you will increase your probability of surviving and therefore the success of your mission to saving valuable lives._

_If you are without parental figures, or a guardian, in this new world it is probably best to befriend a few of the popular locals. This is mainly to create a bond between you and the place in which you have been dropped off at. Undoubtedly, you will get attached and most likely refer to them as your parental figures the longer you stay, but it is nicer to come back to a warm bed and friendly faces, than a cold house. Just a tip, by the way._

_Handy Tip #4: If possible, try to find a temporary guardian who is not essential to the plot, as you may put them into danger just for harbouring a stranger._

_Handy Tip #5: Find a temporary guardian who won't ask too many questions about your past, what you know etc._

You growled angrily, before grabbing your pillow and screaming into it. After letting out your pent up anger at your so called 'guardian angel' you returned to the notebook to quickly read through chapter 2: _'Blending Into your New Dimension'_.

_**Step 4 - Assimilate the Culture** _

_Take some time to learn about the cultural differences between this new world and the one you were previously in. It will take some time but by doing so, you can 'blend' into the crowd and not (as some people say) stick out like a sore thumb. Try to learn the culture from mature people/beings, it will help you understand what is acceptable and what is not, making your reputation credible and as a result, statements you will say in the future will be believable and trusted._

_To do this, observe the every day lives of a few locals and try to pick up some slang that is appropriate for your age._

_Handy Tip #6: Try to befriend the 'protagonist', i.e. the main character of the dimension you are in. Not only will you learn the culture quickly, but you will also be on good terms with the winning side and therefore have, "plot armour"._

_Note: Observing does not mean stalking._

Step three sounded easy enough, but step 4 made you want to rip out all the hair on your head, make a wig out of all that hair, then rip it out once again. You, a responsible 18 year old adult, have to be friends with an annoying 12 year old child?!

You glared at your reflection in the mirror, as one thing that Dara [you had revoked your guardian angel's right of formalities and respect] forgot to mention was that you had to live out the rest of the timeline starting from the age of 12. Which just means, that not only would you have to experience the beauty of puberty again, but you would have to deal with a bunch of other kids, who had not experienced puberty, experience puberty for the first time.

The sound of your door bursting open and a small child screaming, "I have you where I want you!" Which was promptly followed by your body being tackled to the floor by an 8 year old boy. You sighed, as Konohamaru began laughing as he stood over your limp body.

You regretted not watching at least 10 episodes of Naruto when your friend had shown you the first episode. Heck, they would be laughing at your predicament right now, probably mocking you by cackling, _'Look at who's laughing now, [f.name]! Look at who's 'meaningless' hobby is suddenly super important!'_

On the upside, one could call Konohamaru [the Hokage's grandson] your minion. Strangely, Konohamaru had taken an instant liking to you, following you everywhere (when possible) and trying to teach you the customs of Konoha. In return, you thought of him as a younger brother who you would kill and seriously maim people for.

Konohamaru was quiet, confused at your still body, edging closer bit by bit until he was close enough to poke you in the face with his finger. "Hey, [f.name]?"

As quick as lightening, well as quickly as your 'frail' 12 year old body would allow you, you leapt forth at Konohamaru with a playful growl. Instantly, he let out a loud squeal, giggling as you scooped him up in your arms. "Who has come forth? Who demands to speak to the beast?" You growled out, channelling your best lion-from-the-cave-of-wonders-in-Aladdin impression, squishing Konohamaru's cheeks playfully between your hands, as he laughed and squirmed in your grip.

Wriggling his way out of your hold, Konohamaru sprinted out of your room, laughing the entire time. Chuckling quietly, you shoved the small notebook safely into your pouch and chased after him, making weird dinosaur noises all the while.

* * *

"Sir, can we really trust this [l.name] girl?"

The Hokage stared at Iruka blankly before replying, "I don't see why not?" 

Iruka looked baffled, his eyes wide, before he managed to stutter a comprehensible answer, "W-well, she could be a spy? Or even worse, a human weapon?!"

The Hokage lay one hand reassuringly onto Iruka's shoulder, "I know about your fears, but I need you to trust me when I say, she poses no harm for Konoha and its people. In fact, I truly believe she will be a formidable Shinobi."

Iruka only gave the Hokage a grim smile. Before jolting quickly as he realised, "Wait, Sir! Shinobi! Are you going to train her to be a Shinobi?! All the teams have already been finalised and they've already gone on their first few mission!"

Chuckling, the Hokage merely nodded his head, "Don't worry, Iruka. I know what I'm doing, she'll be ready to join a team, and I think I know which one I have in mind."

* * *

_~~Dear Diary~~ To ~~Bob~~ this weak-ass journal that I've decided to keep so I know that I won't go insane,_

_A few months have passed since I first came to this dimension. I found out I had a knack for fire-bending, or as good-old Gramps said, "Your chakra nature seems to be fire," whatever that means._

_Gramps (something that I referred to the Hokage as since I decided that he would be my adopted guardian in this universe) had an Anbu member train me on simple hand to hand combat, weapon handling, as well as some simple jutsus. Jutsus which I immediately forgot right after the poor Anbu taught me. Sorry, but it's just takes too much time to remember those hand symbols. Also, I couldn't really do those jutsus anyway, so who cares._

_And, if I was to be honest with the characters, I spent way too much time trying to be as cool as Azula or Toph from the TV series for someone who was trying to catch up to the other kids._

_My fire-bending skills was passable, my earth-bending tolerable, my water-bending skills were kind of there, and my air-bending skills were completely non-existent (which was pretty dumb considering that the main character of the fucking TV show was an air-bender, but whatever). Dara comes to speak with me in my dreams, which is a little weird, at least she's telling me how to control these weird-bending powers, Toph made earth-bending look so easy._

_Konohamaru had shown me around the town and introduced me a few nice people in return for the stories I keep telling him. It won't be long before I run out of Disney plots to talk about. Other than that, I kept eating out at this ramen place which will not only put a dent in my wallet but also my health, something I'm not ashamed of, by the way. It's not my fault that their food is so god dang delicious. I also learnt a few customs, like how it's apparently "offensive" to fling oneself out of windows in the hope that I can air-bend._

_Anyway, haven't met the main character yet, but I found that the notebook also has pages on the synopsis of this show in the back, so guess who's becoming a fortune teller?_

_I am, bitch._

_Talking about the future, and the main character, the Hokage said he was going to have me skip the "graduation exam" (which sounds very important) and chuck me onto a team already. I'm supposed to meet them later today, so hopefully they all turn out to be, at the very least, tolerable, and considering my situation they'll probably be the main characters too._

_Great._

Sighing, I closed the small journal that I was given by the Hokage and promptly hid it in the underwear drawer of my dresser. I cannot deny that I have gotten used to this new life of mine, training and learning new things every day. Amazingly, I haven't gotten anyone killed or seriously injured yet, which is probably a testament of my ability to not give a single fuck, but who knows?

Getting up and stretching my legs slowly, I wondered out of my room and found myself face to face with good-ol' gramps.

"Are you ready to meet them, [f.name]?" 

**Air-bending skills: 3.4 out of 10**

**Number of fucks given: At least 1**

**Probability of survival: 87.63%**


	4. Lives Worth Saving

_**Chapter 3: Identifying the most Valuable People** _

_ **Step 5 - Finding Valuable Lives** _

_Every single character that displays the characteristics of a main character or important side character (e.g. strangely coloured/styled hair, overly-determined about a single goal, somehow inspires others because of that goal, makes everyone like them through actions etc.) will often have a tragic back story. However, you cannot save all of these lives. Some deaths are pivotal in the story to motivate other characters and drive them to accomplish things they would have never dreamed of._

_The lives worth saving must tick off the following 5 requirements, known as 'The 5 Principles of Hasamelis':_

  * _Must have an important part in the story for the future;_
  * _Saving their lives will not, in anyway, impact the progress of the characters around them;_
  * _Their existence must contribute to the better good of the collective;_
  * _If a villain, they have shown remorse and/or guilt for their previous actions; and_
  * _The dimension traveller must not have, in anyway, have saved their lives because they were important to the traveler on a personal level._



_Once the person has ticked off all 5 requirements, they are deemed as a 'salvum hominem' and their lives are now under your protection._

_Handy Tip #7: Although we love redemption arcs, some villains will not be able to experience this despite your best efforts to push them in that direction. It is better to finish them where they are instead of wasting time listening to their tragic backstory._

_Handy Tip #8: Try not get too attached to characters, which will hinder your abilities to perform this step. Instead, try to become friends with the characters that have a 90% ~ 100% chance of surviving until the end of the story {see the character profiles given by your assigned_ _protector eorum_ _for more information}._

_Handy Tip #9: If you know the name of the "show" in which the new dimension exists, then the chances are that the show is named after the main character._

_Note: Even though the main character is important, it is very rare that they will die, so you do not need to worry about their lives as much as you need to._

* * *

Opening the door to the Hokage's office with a quiet, "Pardon my intrusion," You slipped through the door, only to come face to face with 5 'strangers'. Well, you could recognise everyone there, but how creepy would it be for someone (who you don't know) to approach you and suddenly say, "Hey, kid. You don't know me but I know you, and you're going to be a raging psychopath hell-bent on revenge which will get your ass whooped more times than you would like."

Yeah, definitely not creepy at all.

The Hokage seemed to brighten up at your appearance, whilst the other 5 (2 adults and 3 children) looked baffled at your arrival. "Ah, [f.name]! Nice of you to join us at last." The Hokage said, his smile kind and his voice gentle.

Your eyebrow twitched, "No offence, Gramps. But, you literally made me wait outside for 1 hour just so we could have a a dramatic entrance where they'll think that I'm cool, so we'll all get along." You shot back snidely, the smirk dancing on your lips the only indication that it was a jest. Walking right up to the Hokage, punching his shoulder gently as a greeting (which would hopefully defuse the sudden appearance of strange tension in the room). The Hokage only shook his head, chuckling, as the adult with a scar across the bridge of his noise completely lost his mind.

_'That man, I feel like I should know him. I knew I should've read those character profiles that 'stink-bag' [your 'guardian angel' was now currently demoted to insulting nicknames] gave me.'_ You thought, your eyes narrowed and finger scratching your chin as you stood there thinking about his face for a bit too long.

The familiar feeling of the Hokage's hand ruffling your [length] [colour] hair drew you back into the present, as he mockingly asked, "So, are you going to introduce yourself, [f.name]?"

"Oh yeah. Forgot about that." You replied, snapping back to reality. Turning your attention to the 3 kids and single adult in front of you, you quickly bowed, "I apologise for my rude behaviour. I am [f.name] [l.name], feel free to call me [f.name]. I hope we can all get along, like back in middle-school - not like any of you know what middle-school is. I just moved here a couple of weeks ago and I'm here for a good time, not a long time." You stood straight, a large smile on your face.

A small silence followed after your introduction, before the masked man with silver hair (which was, honestly, a little frightening at its apparent disregard for physics) waved, his one visible eye closed, and introduced himself, "I am Kakashi Hatake, your new teacher," He then gestured to the 3 kids, "And this is Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. We're glad to have you on our team."

Your [colour] eyes scanned over a blond boy, a pinkette, and a gloomy dark-haired boy. I mean seriously, the third kid could probably suck out all the light in a room. Before dismissing them as some random 'side-characters', you jolted, a nervous sweat breaking out on the palms of your hands. When you heard the name Naruto, you could feel the remains of your soul attempting to escape. You were on **the team**. The team with the main character, which will also mean the team with the hardest work. You had a suspicion that the blond child was Naruto, but now you were sure.

Great, chances of surviving past the age of 15 is probably now dwindling in the single digits.

* * *

I narrowed my only visible eye at this [colour] haired girl. She didn't look like she was strong, but she wasn't weak either. I let out a resigned sigh as Naruto immediately thought that it would be a good idea to start rambling about his 'skills' and ambitions, even going as far as to shove his entire body into the poor girl's personal space. Feeling the beginning of what would be the 15th headache of the day, I quickly stepped in as I saw Naruto start to roll up his sleeves.

"I'm going to be the Hokage one day, believe it!"

"Sure, buddy. Don't know why you have to scream it into my face, but you do you, boo."

"You don't believe me, do ya?!"

"Uh, you asked me if I believed you and I said sure, so I have no idea what you are screaming about."

"I'll show you!"

"Uh... okay?"

Swiftly grabbing Naruto by the collar of his orange jumpsuit, I sigh quietly, shooting the new girl an apology over Naruto's constant yelling, "Sorry about Naruto, [f.name]."

She just shrugged carelessly, finger gunning as she replied with a, "It's cool. Kid must have not had a good support system if he says stuff like that. I get it," Before casually strolling out the doors.

_'She knows something.'_

* * *

The moment I had exited the room, I felt the tension in my shoulders disappear. About to walk outside to bask in the sunlight before it became dark, I felt a hand grasp my shoulder. Hearing the Hokage's eerie voice, I shuddered, "Ah. [f.name]. Leaving so soon? We're just about to discuss mission details."

Snapping to attention, I quickly replied with a frightened screech and a salute before making my way back into the office, palms sweaty, knees weak, and arms heavy, as I gulped at the forced smile on the Hokage's face. Closing the door quietly behind me, I let out a nervous laugh as I met Sakura's quizzical gaze.

Turning my attention back to the Hokage, I quickly caught the next sentence out of his mouth, which made my jaw drop to the floor, "You will all be bodyguards on this C-rank mission."

Now, I know I haven't seen any episodes of Naruto, but I did read the episode synopsis of the first 20 episodes, so I sure as hell know that this is going to be a hard time for me.

Sweating slightly, I heard Sakura ask, worry evident in her tone, "[f.name], are you okay? You look a little pale."

Gulping slightly, I decided this would be the best time to pretend I was a fortune teller and thus put my excellent acting skills to use. Swooning slightly, I let out a groan as my eyelids fluttered quickly. Sakura quickly grabbed me in an attempt to hold me upright while I grasped onto her, looking her right in her bright green eyes with my own wide [colour] eyes, before muttering urgently, "Mirrors are dangerous. There's no way out!" Before collapsing onto the floor and into Sakura's arms.

"Sensei!!"

Sakura's piercing shriek made me aware of the credibility of my acting skills, which was only further strengthened by Naruto also screaming, Kakashi looking into my blank eyes, and the sound of the chair screeching as the Hokage rushed to my side.

"[f.name], what's wrong?! Are you okay?" The Hokage asked, his voice panicked and urgent. "What do you mean mirrors are dangerous and there's no way out?"

I let my body slump weakly onto the floor, before looking at Sasuke. Weakly raising a finger, I pointed to him, much to his displeasure (which I didn't necessarily care for since I was reveling in the look of disgust on his face) and quietly croaked out, "You will die in the mirror maze, Sasuke Uchiha."

With Sasuke's black eyes widened in shock, I remained a steady eye contact with him as I slowly lowered my arm, before closing my eyes for a quick snooze. If I wanted this to be realistic and say I have an overpowered ability, then there has to be major drawbacks, and the only thing I can think of right now is falling asleep right after a 'prediction.'

Ignoring the exclamations of the people around me, I let myself take a 10 minute nap, and to be completely honest, after all the shit I have been through and the stuff I have yet to experience, I think I deserved it.

**_Step 6 - How to Gain Trust_ **

_Just be "honest" and hardworking. Have the type of personality that everyone likes to be around. But you must have a few believable flaws, such as never being on time, always forgetting to wear socks, never eating breakfast, bringing dishonor onto your family name, etc._

_When this part is done, start to build a meaningful relationship with the people, remembering their likes and dislikes, important dates and people in their lives, and overall just being a really good friend._

_Handy Tip #10: The quietest people are often the most interesting and easiest to get along with._

**First impressions: 8 out of 10**

**Acting skills: 15 out of 10**

**Fortune telling abilities: 9 out of 10**

**Probability of survival: 43.49%**


	5. What to do When Attacked

**_Chapter 4: Defending Yourself (Physically and Mentally)_ **

**_Step 7 - Priority of Lives and Basic Defence_ **

_Always put your life above others as a dead dimension traveller will not be able to save lives. Never purposefully put yourself in danger, unless it is to save a salvum hominem or the injuries and damage that you will experience due to that action are not over 10% life-threatening, i.e. if you have a 10% ~ 100% chance of survival, take the action._

_Your protector eorum will train you according to your assigned powers when you are asleep or alone. However, it is up to you to maintain and further better your own skills so as to increase your probability of survival. If possible, try to spar with fellow 'friends' in your new dimension, however this is only physical defence._

_Mental defence requires you to be always aware of your surroundings to be able to fend off mental attacks, such as hypnotism. Your assigned protector eorum will assist in this, but yet again it is up to you to further strengthen the skills that are taught to you._

_Handy Tip #11: Meditation and yoga tend to help in your mental defence._

_Handy Tip #12: If attacked, physically or mentally, always remain calm. Panic will cloud your mind, limiting the number of possible decisions that you could make which may then lead to unfavourable outcomes._

* * *

You awoke 15 minutes later to find yourself on the ground of the Hokage's office, a blanket covering you and a make-shift pillow made from a folded jacket. Groaning, you sat up and looked around the room sleepily, barely managing to notice Kakashi move to your side to slowly help you up.

Clearing your throat, you asked in the most nonchalant tone (which probably did not suit this situation), "So, what did I miss?"

Naruto and Sakura were quick to fill you in on the details, whilst Kakashi hovered around you, checking your temperature. Zoning out for most of the explanation, you caught the important details. You, and your newly appointed team members, had to escort this one guy back to his home. This sounded easy enough, but due to your new found 'psychic' abilities, you knew that this mission would not be a good time.

It was going to be a bad time.

A really, really bad time.

The sound of someone clearing their throat snapped you out of your gloomy thoughts, forcing you to turn your attention onto the people in the room. Kakashi, with a stern look on his face (well as far as we could tell since at least 90% of his face was covered), inquired, "What were you talking about before, [f.name]? About this mirror maze and the death of Sasuke."

* * *

Oh boy.

Nervously scratching the back of my neck, I barely managed to stutter out my response, "W-well, sometimes. N-not really s-sometimes, more like most of the t-time? I get this massive headache and then, I wouldn't really call it the future, but I would kind of see glimpses of the future?"

I'm a paid actor, by the way. Thanks for asking.

Letting out a nervous chuckle, I continued, "Just then, I think I saw what was going to happen? I'm not to sure though. Because most of the time I am wrong." Everyone looked confused at this statement. I gulped, before adding quickly, "Like, one time last month, I had a vision that I was going to get put into a group with a duck, a fox and a flower, but that hasn't happened yet. I think?"

It was so easy to lie straight through my teeth, as if I was made for this acting life. Step aside Meryl Streep, [f.name] [l.name] is coming for this year's Oscar for best actress. As I cackled in my brain, whilst feigning an embarrassed look on my face, I continued, "So, I saw um... Sasuke being surrounded by these mirrors? And then he basically keels over dead in the next second, so I don't know what happened?" I say, noticing that the Hokage and Kakashi shared the look.

You know. **The** look.

The look you give your friend when someone mentions one word that relates to an inside joke that only the two of you know.

Yeah, that look.

Except for the fact that the look the Hokage and Kakashi shared was not one where it felt like a, _'It's an inside joke!'_ But, more like a, _'She knows too much ~~and now we must eliminate her,~~ '_ one.

The office was too quiet after I had answered, until Naruto yelled out, "Wow! That's so cool! You can see the futu-"

Which was promptly then cut off by Sakura telling him to shut up followed by a slap. This might be fun, after all.

* * *

After resting for a while, the four of you met at Konoha gates to depart on this new journey of friendship and love. Well, that was what you wanted to believe. You sighed, as the 6 of you walked out of Konoha, Tazuna (the man who you had to protect) shooting snarky comments every now and then to Naruto, who (much to the amusement of both you and Kakashi) got quickly riled up.

"You want me to believe that this kid is able to protect me?! Ha! It's more probable for me to drown in concrete than that ever happening!"

"Hey! Shut it, you old geezer!"

"You noisy little brat!"

Before Naruto could lunge at this old man, Kakashi once again (for the sixteenth time in the past 15 minutes) yanked Naruto away from the ground by the scruff of his neck. Naruto grumbled as Sakura reprimanded him, before apologising again and again to the 'poor old man'. Sasuke hadn't spoken a single word

This was then repeated again when we passed a random puddle in the middle of the dirt road.

You sighed, slouching a little as you walked past this puddle, slowing down just so you could walk right next to Kakashi, and inevitably receive front-row tickets to whatever was going to happen next. Stopping in your steps, to Kakashi's confusion, you bent down to take off your shoes, feeling the whoosh of air pass right above you and hearing the screams of Naruto and Sakura.

Shoes off, you came face to face with the saddest battle scene in the history of battle scenes. In other words, Naruto was freaking the fuck out, Sakura looked like she had lost her mind, and Sasuke.

Well, Sasuke was team carrying.

But, this battle was taking a bit too long for your liking.

Sighing for the umpteenth time of this day (you noticed that you had been sighing a lot recently and you blamed it on 'stink bag'), you dropped your shoes and immediately stomped the ground, raising a chuck of earth the size of Sasuke's ego - for those that don't know, it was just a large piece of rock. Stepping forward and punching it with both hands, this massive piece of earth began to fly towards the unexpected visitors (at an unexpectedly high speeds), smashing one of them through several trees and surprisingly also demolishing the chain that linked the both of them.

Uh, hello? Mo here. I just want to break it to our fine reader here, but I think you just straight up murdered that guy, nothing wrong with a bit of murder, but did you have to do it in front of the kids? No, you didn't. But you went through with it anyway. Do you know how much paperwork this is going to be for me? Surprisingly, not a lot.

Turning to face the other surprise visitor, you quickly summoned a red-hot flame in both of your hands before rushing towards them, a bored look on your face. Throwing fiery balls of hatred, you managed to get close enough to kick him where the sun doesn't shine, but Sasuke had managed to not only get in your way, but also pin attacker number 2 to a tree with a couple of kunais.

Skidding to a stop by digging your heels into the dirt, you looked at Sasuke as he nonchalantly shoved both of his hands into his pockets and walked back to the main group.

* * *

_'This guy. This guy is an A-grade asshole. I actually cannot believe he gets worse, like you would think that right now, this is scarping the bottom of the barrel. But, no. He just happens to exceed my expectations and become an even bigger arsehole.'_ I thought, barely managing to keep my eyebrow from twitching in amusement. A short silence had fallen on your small group, as I turned to face a shocked Naruto, a shaking Sakura, a nonchalant Sasuke, a terrified bridge builder, and an indifferent Kakashi. Oh, Kakashi is alive?

Zoning out, I walked back to pick up my shoes, dusting my feet off before slipping them back on. Looking up, I nearly snorted at the sight of Naruto waving his arms around as Kakashi attempted to bandage Naruto's hand. Before we could continue on our way to our destination, Kakashi turned to me and asked, "So, [f.name]. What is the name of that jutsu you just did?"

Shooting him finger guns, I smoothly replied with, "I don't kiss and tell, sir. But, if you must know, it's called a secret."

Kakashi sighed.

**Earth-bending skills: 7 out of 10**

**Fire-bending skills: 6 out of 10**

**Acting skills: 1000 out of 10**

**Probability of survival: 68.47%**


	6. On Your Own

**_Chapter 5 - On Your Own_ **

**_Step 8 - Do Your Job_ **

_Congratulations! You have finished the basics of dimension travelling, and now you must pave your own path. No doubt that it will be fraught with danger and near-death experiences, but you have mastered the basics so now nothing can step in your way! The rest of this book will be filled with tailor-made tips and tricks from your protector eorum on what to do in a couple of strange situations specific to your dimension._

_With that, we, the council of infinitum, bid you good luck on your mission._

* * *

Tazuna, the bridge-builder whose name I suddenly remembered, then burst into a monologue about the situation his town was in, and being the type of person with an attention span of a 7 year old child, I immediately zoned out, fiddling with my fingers as if they were the most interesting thing to ever exist. There were more important things to think about that Tazuna's sob story, like how to stop Zabuza and Haku from dying, how to brush off accusations from Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi, and most importantly, how to make it to the end of the story-line.

I blanched as I realised Naruto's face was right in front of me, his nose a few millimetres from mine, as he asked, "Yo, [f.name]. Can you see if I become Hokage with your fortune-telling? I'm totally the Hokage in the future, right?" There were several things that happened after Naruto asked that:

1\. I screamed.

2\. Naruto screamed.

3\. I slapped Naruto in the face.

4\. Naruto screamed louder.

5\. I screamed.

6\. Sakura screamed.

7\. Kakashi sighed.

* * *

Sasuke could feel his eyebrow twitch in frustration at the sight of the [colour] haired girl apologising profusely to Naruto, the latter sporting a large red hand-print on the side of his face. His usual scowl painted on his face, Sasuke slouched further into himself, wanting for this mission to be done and over with, as if he was the only one that wished for that.

You had stopped apologising to Naruto after the 15th time, before pondering whether or not to answer his question, _'If I tell Naruto that he will be Hokage, would he still work as hard as he did in the anime series? Or will he slack off?'_ Deciding that you liked, and I quote, _'A little sprinkle of drama in your life,'_ You just replied with a vague, "Eh, maybe. Maybe not. The future can change and the spirits haven't told me that, yet."

Naruto looked a bit too pleased at your vague answer, Sakura was struggling to keep a neutral face after nearly spluttering out a 'what', Kakashi merely looked amused, whilst Sasuke still had that annoying smirk on his face. You swore that one day. One day. You would wipe that condescending smirk off his face.

"Oh yeaaaahhh! Did you hear that, Sasuke?! I going to be the Hokage in the future." Naruto bragged, jumping around excitedly. Your [colour] eyes widening as you thought, _'I think I can see his ego inflating.'_

"[f.name]-chan literally said maybe, Naruto!" Sakura interjected punching said boy in the back of the head, which then instantly halved Naruto's ego.

Just before Naruto was about to retort, no doubt with his phrase 'believe it', Sasuke quickly cut in, his voice cold and mocking, "If anyone is going to be Hokage, it's going to be me, you idiot."

"That's not true, you bastard!"

You turned to Sakura, "Does this usually happen? Or is this like a once in a blue-moon sort of thing?"

Sakura only replied with a tired sigh, and by doing so, answered your question. With a teary face, you pat Sakura on the shoulder reassuringly, "I'm sorry, Sakura. I don't know how you live with this. But, now. I'm here to help you live through this. Let's get through this together."

Thus, the greatest friendship between two people was born, out of the necessity to live and survive with the idiotic rivalry between their two teammates.

* * *

"Thank you for taking us this far." Tazuna said, as the 6 of us disembarked from the the small vessel. The boat driver nodded, waving goodbye as he slowly disappeared out of sight.

You stretched your legs, the cramps from sitting down for too long finally getting to you. You sighed in content, feeling the satisfying crack of your shoulders and knees as you elongated your limbs and contorted your body into weird shapes. Sakura giggled at your antics whilst Sasuke and Naruto continued to butt heads.

Walking down the dirt path, Sakura and you bonded over training techniques as she taught you about the basics of being a ninja. In other words, it had been a few months since you had arrived in Naruto's dimension but only now had you started to learn the basics of being a ninja, Ninja 101 if you will. Apparently, the fact that Naruto had done nothing in the past attack weighed heavily on his mind, as he mindlessly threw kunais in a couple of directions in an effort to not be outdone by Sasuke.

"Hey, Naruto! Stop trying to show off!" Sakura berated.

"Don't use kunai knives so carelessly, Naruto!" Kakashi added.

But to your amusement, Naruto immediately threw another kunai knife in another direction only to find a petrified white rabbit. As you stood there nonchalantly, watching Naruto cuddle this terrified poor bunny, you looked at one of Naruto's kunai knives that had struck the ground next to your feet, missing out on Kakashi's warning of, "Get down!"

You bent down slowly to pick it up, thinking, ' _Huh, these don't look that hard to throw. But, you know what would be cool to have in this world? A gun. I would like a gun.'_ Feeling the sudden rush of air fly above you, you stood back up, only to jolt at the sight of a massive sword stuck in a tree with a half-naked, masked man perched on top of it. _'Wait, what the fuck did I just miss?'_

"Ah, if it isn't the Rogue Ninja of the Hidden Mist, Zabuz-"

With absolutely no tact in mind, you spoke cutting off Kakashi's introduction of this peasant secondary character, "Having leg-warmers and arm-warmers without a shirt is just a contradiction you know. Make up your mind, are you cold or what?"

"[f.name]! This isn't the time to joke around." Sakura hurriedly whispered out.

"Nevermind that, just get into Manji battle formation and protect Tazuna!" Kakashi ordered, his hand reaching up to unmask his other eye. Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto quickly formed around Tazuna.

You blinked slowly, before whispering to yourself, "They don't teach you this Manji formation shit in college." As you turned to protect the rear, continuing on to say to the others, "I've got all your backs, because no one has the heart to tell me where to stand."

Slipping off your footwear once again, you ignored Sakura's exclamation of, "[f.name], this isn't the time to worry about your shoes!" Placing the shoes next to you, you got into your own battle stance, closing your eyes to try and focus on the vibrations through the earth.

In other words, you attempted to pull off [Toph's seismic sense](https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/deathbattlefanon/images/6/6a/Seismic_sense_Toph.gif/revision/latest?cb=20160701182744). Granted, your were not that great at it, but if could help in this situation where you knew this half-naked man would create a thick fog in an effort to blind all of you. As you closed your eyes, you feel Zabuza leave his perch on the tree, and Sakura gasping out a, "Where did he go?" 

Sighing, you opened your eyes to the sight of a thick fog before praying quickly in your head, _'To whatever higher being exists, I beg of you to please let this shit pass quickly. Please.'_

* * *

My prayers were apparently not heard, as there were a few expositional points we had to get through, like what is the Sharingan, what is Zabuza's fucked up back story, what Kakashi's Sharingan could do, what the bingo book is, etc..

Zoning out for most of it, I jolted when Zabuza's voice cut through the mist, "Eight points."

"Huh, what's that?" Sakura asked, her green eyes flickering around trying to place down where Zabuza was.

Zabuza's reply was calm, "The larynx, the spine, the lungs, the liver. The jugular and the subclavian arteries. The kidneys, the heart. Now then, which vulnerable spot would be good?"

Piping up, I quickly cut in, "Uh, not to be such a Debbie downer, but I prefer literally none of those. I think any of us prefer those methods. I would like to die peacefully in my sleep, thank you very much."

I was ignored to the nth degree.

Visibly drooping, I started to only focus on keeping Zabuza far away from Tazuna, which was rather successful since the ground just happened to get super slippery whenever Zabuza got too close, or when a random wall of earth popped out to force Zabuza to change directions, or the fact there just happened to be a ball of fire staring him straight in the face when he nearly succeeded.

I watched with a blank look on my face as Zabuza and Kakashi played a game of 'Which one of us is the real one?' Blinking slowly, I observed Kakashi get stuck in a ball of water, snickering quietly at the distortion the ripples created of his face. As Naruto and Sasuke teamed up to attempt to take down Zabuza's water clone as Sakura and I kept an eye on Mr President [Tazuna's new nickname which I came up with in the past 10 minutes], I turned to Sakura, "Sakura, what I'm about to do is very dangerous. So first of all, do not try this at home. Secondly, please make sure that Zabuza doesn't decide to go ape shit on us and kill me from behind. Got it?"

When Sakura gave me a quick nod, I stepped forward and took a deep breath. Focusing on the water prison that Kakashi was in, I tried to find a way to grasp onto it, just a sliver of water just so I can break this prison open. I could feel a grin split my lips, as I chuckled. _'There it is, my opening.'_

**Earth-bending skills: 8 out of 10**

**Knowledge of ninja basics: 2 out of 10**

**Probability of survival: 46.32%**


	7. Look Ma, No Hands

_When Sakura gave me a quick nod, I stepped forward and took a deep breath. Focusing on the water prison that Kakashi was in, I tried to find a way to grasp onto it, just a sliver of water just so I can break this prison open. I could feel a grin split my lips, as I chuckled. 'There it is, my opening.'_

* * *

Slowly, I [waved my arms](http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/40800000/Kya-the-Waterbender-avatar-the-legend-of-korra-40820250-540-220.gif), feeling the push and pull of the water as I concentrated on altering the shape of the ball of water. The ripples in Zabuza's water prison began to still, and just as I was about to pull the water gently away from Zabuza's hand, Sasuke decided that this was a good time to throw a giant shuriken.

Not going to lie, but I was spooked by this appearance. So much so, that I shrieked, tensing up by a little only to completely freeze the water prison with Kakashi still stuck inside.

Oh no.

Freaking out, I immediately tried to remedy the situation but Sakura screaming only made me accidentally summon a giant wave which engulfed the real Zabuza, which was instantly frozen when Sakura started to shake me back and forth. "[F.name]! W-was that you?" Sakura stuttered out, as she gripped her pink hair in anguish.

"Well, I was trying to get Kakashi-sensei out, but you distracted me!"

"What in the world, [f.name]!? Undo it!"

"At least I got Zabuza, okay? And I'm trying to! If you stop yelling in my ear, I might be able to get Kakashi out alive!"

"What do you mean you might?!"

"Well, it's very hard to unfreeze something, when **someone** is yelling at me, okay?!"

Grumbling underneath my breath a quiet, "This is some Elsa from Frozen shit, I swear," I waved my arms haphazardly in distress, unconsciously unfreezing both Kakashi's water prison and the beautiful tidal wave that had trapped Zabuza. Grumbling, I turned around to free them both, only to stare at the resulting mess of two grown men gasping for air on the ground.

"[f.name]! You did it! But, did you have to unfreeze Zabuza too?" Sakura exclaimed as she beamed at you, hugging you tightly.

"It wasn't on purpose. I literally have no idea on how I did that." You replied, staring at your hands in wonder. _'Is this what Elsa felt when she finally got rid of the eternal winter? Why have I resorted to using Disney plots as references?'_

You looked up to see Kakashi and Zabuza stagger to their feet, only to engage in a strange ritual of 'Who can creep the other person out the most, with their uncanny ability to copy jutsus?'

Slumping to the ground in a feigned exhaustion, when in reality all you wanted to do was to take a nap, you watched with lidded eyes as the rest of the fight played out in Kakashi's favour, groaning at the sight of a masked person slowly drag away Zabuza's body after firing a few needles into his neck.

Slipping in and out of sleep, you mutter out a, "Wake me up when we get there," to Sakura before taking your well-earned nap.

* * *

I wake up to find a perfect view of the ceiling, attempting to get up, I realised I was trapped. Someone had swaddled me in a blanket. Unable to move either my arms or my legs, I unceremoniously rolled off the futon and onto the hard floor. Groaning, I yelled out, "Someone help me! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

Face down on the floor, I could feel the vibrations of people running towards me accompanied by the thundering of footsteps as the door swung open. Shifting around in my feeble caterpillar body, I attempted to turn around to see who had entered, only to see Kakashi (who was on crutches), Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto and a young woman looking at me.

Blanking out, the silence almost overwhelming as they stared at my defeated body which had rolled out of the futon. Breaking the silence, I timidly asked, "So, is anyone going to get me out of this thing, or will I have to go full human torch and burn this perfectly good blanket, and maybe this house, down with an uncontrollable fire?"

Kakashi instantly helped you out of your blanket burrito, well at least to the best of his abilities. In the end it was Tsunami, the young woman, who helped me out, gently unwrapping me from the blanket as if I was the most fragile gift given to mankind.

"You don't need to threaten people to get things done, [f.name]."

"Ah, but you can't deny that it was very effective? Besides, think of it as a motivational saying, not a threat."

~~Do it, or I will set fire to your house. - [f.name] [l.name]~~

Stumbling downstairs you watch on as Tsunami's son Inari threw some heavy accusations, your brain already zoning him out as you greeted Mr President.

* * *

Kakashi had taken all of you outside to do something with chakra control. Something that you felt you should know, but didn't care enough to learn fully. Basking in the sun, you watch idly as Sakura started to explain the concept of chakra to Naruto, and to be honest, you didn't think he understood half of the words that came out of her mouth.

Leaning against one of the large trees, you lazily observed as Kakashi demonstrated his 'out-of-this-world' tree climbing abilities using only his feet and chakra control, before he extended an invitation for the 4 of you to do the same. Slipping off your shoes, which had suddenly become a habit for you, you calmly walked up to a tree resting one hand up against it. Grinning, you stomped on the ground with one foot, inwardly laughing at the shocked expressions on everyone elses' faces as you took your dirt elevator to the top.

Mock saluting the children left down below, you hear Naruto screaming, "How did you do that, [f.name]?! Kakashi said no hands!" Sakura looked amazed, her sea-green eyes literally blinding you with their sparkle, whilst Sasuke scoffed, turning away from the sight of you winning, what a sore loser. 

"Look, no hands." You replied before you got to far away, making a display of your empty hands that lay pathetically at your sides. Once you got a reasonable distance above the ground, you simply jumped onto the nearest branch, letting the earth descend back into the ground.

"[f.name], that's not exactly how you do it. Get down here and try again!" Kakashi yelled out, beckoning to you with one hand, as Naruto and Sasuke still attempted to climb more than a few metres.

"Aye, aye, Captain!" You said, standing straight in another mock salute. Taking a deep breath, you stepped off of the branch and began to hurtle towards the ground, ignoring the screams of everyone else. _'This seems rather familiar, me falling that is.'_ You thought to yourself, focusing on creating a [ball of air](https://media.giphy.com/media/10fS0TJxfFRDLW/giphy.gif) to slow you down. Successfully doing so, you gently placed your feet on the ground, the ball of air disappearing from existence. "Well, Captain. What next?" You asked, brushing imaginary dirt and dust off your clothes in nonchalance.

You looked up to see the shocked faces of your team and teacher, as Naruto stammered, his blue eyes flickering from the great height from which you just were and where you were right now. "W-What was that?"

"Luck. I can't believe that worked actually." You replied, shrugging your shoulders, before you rubbed your chin whilst thinking, "This is the first time I haven't broken both my legs trying to do something very similar."

"What?!"

Kakashi only shook his head, "Try again, but with chakra control this time, [f.name]."

"Sir, yes, sir!" You answered brightly, before dashing up a tree quickly, digging your heels deep into the wood to create footholds. Feeling yourself fall backwards once again, you planted both feet onto the tree and pushed off. Flipping up into the air, you quickly summoned up your trusty ball of air to slowly lower you to the ground. Turning towards Kakashi, you whined, "Kakashi, not to be whiny brat or anything, but this is super hard. I don't even know what it feels like to have chakra pool up in my feet."

Kakashi looked puzzled, glancing at you up and down, before pulling you aside and said, "We need to have a talk then."

* * *

I quietly followed Kakashi as we walked further and further into the woods. Attempting to practice my seismic sense, I walked barefoot. Once we were a considerate distance away from the main group, to deter from eavesdroppers (Naruto) Kakashi stopped in his tracks. Stopping as well I snickered at the resigned look on Kakashi's face. "So, what do you need to ask me?" I questioned, plonking my ass onto an earth platform I had just raised to make a makeshift seat.

"It's about your abilities, you seem to possess little to no chakra at all, and yet I have never seen anyone break another person's jutsu, or manipulate the earth, fire, water or wind as you have. Do you have any idea why you're able to do the things you do?"

_'Why yes I do know, Kakashi. But since I am somehow suddenly important to the plot and these powers are somehow nearly unexplainable in 'ninja terms' I cannot tell you. But hey, this isn't the reason why I've become so good at lying.'_ Chuckling nervously, I scratched the back of my neck anxiously, whilst I inwardly rejoiced at a new opportunity to cement myself as the greatest actress of all time. "Well, the thing is, Kakashi. I have no idea myself. I just do whatever feels right. You know, just going with the flow." I gestured for Kakashi to join me on my make-shift rock bench, patting the space next to me enthusiastically.

When Kakashi took a seat, I leaned back, looking at the sky thoughtfully, "A lot of people assume that being able to see the future is amazing. But, it's not. Some things in the future are fixed points, whilst others can change depending on actions made in the present and the past." I looked at Kakashi ruefully, a weak smile on my face, "It's hard to tell which is which and sometimes trying to change those fixed points ends up badly, you know?" I added, as Kakashi nodded his head. "Sometimes, I'll see a glimpse of someone I don't know yet dying, and I'm not sure if I could have saved them or not. These visions, I don't when they will actually happen. They could happen in the next 10 years, or even the next 30 seconds. But, it is my own burden to carry."

The both of us were quiet afterwards, the silence was peaceful. Kakashi quietly broke the silence by asking me, "[f.name], are you okay?"

Shooting him a sad smile, I answered, "I don't know."

_'Oh, did I mention that I was a paid actor? Because I'm a paid actor.'_

**Air-bending skills: 5 out of 10**

**Earth-bending: 8 out of 10**

**Luck (i.e. plot armour): God tier**

**Acting skills: 6 out of 10 (there was no crying)**

**Probability of survival: 56.75%**


	8. Unimaginable Pressure

The little heart to heart chat that [f.name] and Kakashi had, had lightened the load of stress that had managed to pile their way onto the poor [colour] eyed girl's shoulders. Now, both [f.name] and Sakura were standing on the half-completed bridge, watching as yet another worker resigned. Tasked with guarding Tazuna, they looked on as the weight on Tazuna's shoulders seemed to increase tenfold. He turned around, squinting his eyes at the two girls, "It is only you two? What about the annoying brat and the quiet one, where are they?" He asked, looking around to check if Naruto would ambush him or not.

Sakura blinked, replying with a brief, "They're training. Climbing trees."

"Was it too tough for the both of you, or somethin'?" Tazuna inquired, a playful glint in his eyes.

[f.name], our incredibly amazing and important protagonist who paid me to write this, wrapped her arm loosely around Sakura's shoulders grinning as she replied smoothly, "It wasn't tough for Sakura, but man. I sure as hell don't know how to climb a tree with no hands, much less climb a tree using all of my limbs. So, that's why Kakashi-sensei sent Sakura here to guard you, and I have no idea why he told me to tag along, but here I am!"

"... You've got to kidding me..."

Sakura groaned, before muttering, "Kakashi sent you here because he didn't want to babysit you, so now I have to."

Blatantly ignoring Sakura's harsh words, [f.name] jabbed her thumb in the direction of the construction site, "Hey, Tazuna." [f.name] called out, "Let me help. What do you need done?" The [colour] eyed girl asked, removing her arm from around Sakura's shoulders.

"Don't worry about it, I'll get this whole thing done." Tazuna replied, turning his attention to yet another construction worker who wanted out. After a quick, yet somehow aggressive talk, the worker had walked away, the yellow hard-hat in his hands.

Walking up to Tazuna once again, [f.name] asked, "So, you want to the help or not? I know I may not look like a lot, but I can do some serious heavy lifting and shit like that for free."

Grumbling, Tazuna gave in, "Sure. But don't tell my daughter. She'll have my head if she knew anything about me making you do hard labour. She'll probably say something 'bout how it's illegal and stuff."

Sakura only rolled her eyes, warning [f.name] playfully, "You better not hurt yourself, [f.name]-chan. Kakashi-sensei won't like it."

The [colour] haired girl shot Sakura a mock salute, "Got it, boss!"

* * *

With the day nearly done and the sun beginning to set, the three of us began to walk back. I yawned, stretching out my arms, feeling a satisfying pop in my joints. Walking down the street, I took in the sights, a grim look on my face as I saw the hellhole these people have to live with because of a short man, Gato. Sakura, who was closely following Tazuna, was also looking around quizzically before getting the courage to ask, "Um, where are we going?"

Tazuna's reply was short, just like my patience with this dimension bullshit, "Shopping."

"Ah, okay."

Meandering about, I slouched, waiting outside, as both Sakura and Tazuna entered the small shop to look at the dwindling produce. Too busy with thinking my thoughts, I was snapped out of my dream of eating a red-velvet cake with Sakura's screaming, "Pervert!!" Quickly followed by a loud whacking sound and some man rushing out of the store with a lump on his head.

For some reason, Tazuna and Sakura left the shop swiftly after that, following them, I asked Sakura, "So, what was that scream about?"

Sakura shuddered before replying, "Don't worry about it, just some man trying to pickpocket me."

"Oh, sounds fun."

"It was not fun, [f.name]-chan!"

Tazuna laughed, "I haven't seen any girl attack a man doing stuff like that around here."

Sakura huffed, crossing her arms angrily, "Well, they should!"

Laughing at Sakura's predicament, I froze when I felt two hands on my ass. Turning around, with a worthy 'I'm-going-to-fuck-you-up-so-bad' look on my face, I made eye-contact with a small boy with both of his hands outstretched, "Please, miss."

Feeling my resolve crumble at the puppy-dog eyes this child gave me, I reached down into my bag to pull out three apples, handing them to the child before turning around quickly and muttering, "I didn't hand these to you, got it? I've just dropped them into your hands and I just haven't noticed yet."

"Thank you so much!"

Sakura stared at me with a grimace, "Why did you have to say that? Why can't you just be normal?"

Turning away from her, with my nose high, I crossed my arms, "I don't know what you're talking about, Sakura."

Sakura sighed, tempted to smash [f.name] face against a wall a couple of times just to stamp out the idiocy. Tazuna let out another loud laugh, "Ah, I got really lucky with this group, didn't I? A whole group of misfits, all with their heart in the right place and endless courage. Bah, this town sure needs some kids like you." A sad look appeared on Tazuna's face as we walked down the street, "The way this town is now is because of Gato. Here, all the adults have turned into cowards. So that's why now that bridge is necessary. It's a symbol of bravery in order to restore their spirit, so they don't keep running away. For the people of this land who have set their minds on being passive. If we can just complete that bridge this town will return to how it once was and everyone will come back."

* * *

The 9 of us were crowded around the small wooden table as Tsunami blessed everyone with her marvelous cooking, Naruto and Sasuke were stuffing their faces at unimaginable speeds, stopping every now and then to throw up what they had eaten. Finishing your bowl of food, you thanked Tsunami for her wonderful cooking before asking is she wanted any help cleaning up. When she said no, you shrugged your shoulders, before slapping both Sasuke and Naruto on the back of their heads to reprimand them as they threw up once again (like the disgusting children they are), announcing that you were tired and were going to head to bed.

Ruffling Inari's hair as you left the room, you dodged his annoyed swipe, and made your way upstairs. The feeling of anxiety gnawing at the bottom of your stomach, as you knew what was going to happen. Settling down in y our futon, you closed your eyes slipping into, what you hoped to be, a dreamless sleep.

You woke up in a green meadow, which was the first sign that this was a dream. Hearing a unwanted but familiar voice, you grimaced, realising that once again your life was terrible, "[f.name]! It's been so long. How have you been?"

Yes, it was, unfortunately, your protector eorum, your guardian angel, your tormentor, the bane of your existence, Ms Dara. Gritting your teeth, you sat up, coming face to face with said tormentor, you managed to spit out, "I've been okay, if okay is just realising that the fate of everyone's lives lies on your shoulders. Yeah, I've been good."

Ms Dara only laughed, her tinkling voice managing to aggravate you even more, "Oh, [f.name]. I told you to call me Evangeline. But, it is very good to hear that you are doing so well!" Waving her hands, a small tea table morphed into existence, and with it a tea set. Evangeline began to pour the tea, gesturing for you to join her before continued to ask, "With all of that aside, how are you going with your, um, what do the kids call it? Bending?"

Seating yourself at the table begrudgingly, you accepted the cup of tea that was shoved into your hands, "It's been okay. I'm not great, but I've been getting the hang of it."

"That's good. You looked a little stressed, what's on your mind?"

You could feel your eyebrow twitch, "Everything. Everything is on my mind." You answered, chugging down the hot tea, ignoring the burning sensation in your throat and mouth. "I don't know whether I should save Haku and Zabuza." You say, slumping at the table.

Evangeline sighed, before asking you quickly, "Are they important in the future?"

"Probably?"

"Will you saving them change the progress of other characters?"

"It's hard to tell, when I can only compare if the spoilers say they die? But, probably not?"

"Will their deaths better the collective?"

"Maybe."

"Have they shown remorse or guilt?"

"Not yet."

"Are you saving them because you know about their tragic backstory and you are taking pity on them?

"No? Maybe? Yes."

"Then you can save them."

"Doesn't it conflict the last dot-point on the checklist? Well, every dot-point on the checklist?"

"You actually read the guide? Huh, no one ever reads the guide. But, yeah, the reason that checkpoint was put into place was because a dimension traveller fell in love, and ultimately sacrificed their life to save them and therefore fucked up the entire dimension, but you don't seem to be in love so it's all cool."

"Oh cool, wait what?!" You were baffled, one person not dying when they were supposed to can fuck up a dimension? Well, shit-cakes.

"It's a story for later." Evangeline smoothly replied, sipping on her tea in somehow a condescending matter. "Let's get ready for your training."

"Save the suspense bullshit, and just tell me now!"

"Hm, the council have heard your request and have elected to ignore it."

It's going to be a long night.

* * *

You awoke, this time in the real world, well as real as waking up is ever going to be for you from now on, taking a glance out of the window you noticed it was still quite dark outside. Quickly folding up the futon, you changed out of your clothes, quietly exiting the room making sure to sneak quietly out of the house.

Leaving your shoes at the back door, you ran into the forest, ready to practice your new bending skills. Finding yourself in a small clearing, you began to get started, [sucking out the water](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/MiserlyFalseHorsechestnutleafminer-size_restricted.gif) from the grass and several trees around you before willing them to punch a hole through a tree. Closing your eyes, you focused on the small water molecules in the air, spinning around to gather them up, the familiar sensation of the pull of the water building up in your hands. Twirling around, you manipulated the water to [swirl around you](https://media1.tenor.com/images/dc92c97b035384b7f887a60e5b06b880/tenor.gif?itemid=9239728), reveling in calm feeling of the water in your hands. Pushing your hands outwards, the rings of water around you shot out, slicing through the trees and any boulders that were in the way, the loud thundering of trees falling making you flinch, "Oops, people will not be liking that wake-up call."

Shrugging your shoulders, you continued to practice your water-bending until the sun rose in the sky. Your mind plagued with the events that will occur soon. With the sun high in the sky, you walked deeper into the forest only to come face to face with Naruto and an effeminate Haku deep in conversation.

Clearing your throat, Naruto and Haku whipped their head around, both of their eyes wide at your appearance as you gave a small wave, "Hey, what's up?"

Naruto was quick to answer, "Not much, [f.name]-chan." Proudly jabbing a thumb at himself, he continued on to say, "But, not to brag or anything, I've mastered tree climbing now." A bright and large grin on his face.

You could only smirk, "Oh ho? Really now?"

"Oh ho. Really."

You didn't know how it happened but Naruto started to grow on you like fungi, and I say that with the fondest tone possible. With the power of knowing how the anime ended and how the characters developed, you could do nothing but admire Naruto for his determination and strong morals, and these traits are basically what erased the fact that Naruto was very annoying to interact with at some points. But, I digress.

Turning to Haku, you gave him a small smile before introducing yourself, "Good morning! Thank you for looking after this blonde idiot here," You introduce, pointing at Naruto and ignoring his indignant exclamations, "I'm [f.name] [l.name], but just call me [f.name]."

Haku replied with a quiet hello, as you gushed over his perfectly smooth skin and his long silky hair.

Like the fucking creep you were, god [f.name] can't you fucking interact with strangers normally. Ah, but you technically know Haku since you have the entire plot of the anime tucked safely in your pants, so this is up for debate, I guess.

Obviously uncomfortable at you advances, Haku was about to bid the both of you good bye, until you grabbed his wrist quickly. Staring as if you could see right through him, you mutter, "Betrayal lies on the path you are on." Haku's eyes widen, as Naruto looked on nervously at your stilted interaction. Ignoring the strange looks you were receiving from both boys, you continued, "Death comes for you, Haku. It has come for its payment."

Letting your eyelids flutter, you roll your eyes backwards and relax your entire body, feeling the beauty of gravity pull you down onto the grass as well as Haku's wrist slipping out of your hand. Closing your eyes, you suddenly feel the consequences of not sleeping for the recommended 10 hours per night and decide that it is the best time to take a power nap, whilst neglecting Naruto's panicked shouting.

_'I've said it before and I'll say it again. Step aside Meryl Streep, actress [f.name] [l.name] is coming for that Oscar.'_

**Water-bending skills: 7.4 out of 10**

**Acting skills: God tier**

**Probability of survival: 64.23%**


	9. Mirror Maze

You wake up once again in a futon with the first thought in your mind being, _'Wow, I need to stop greeting each day like this.'_ Alongside the strange following notion of, _'Wow, the author is getting pretty lazy at what the reader does to avoid responsibilities.'_

~~Wow, you're going to be sarcastic too? Don't get snarky otherwise I'll strip you away from your right to murder people. Tch, the things I do for you, honestly.~~

Shaking your head to clear those bizarre thoughts, you got up before hearing the sounds of Inari yelling and Tsunami's screaming from outside your window. Panicked you rushed outside, only to witness Tsunami being dragged away by 2 men whilst Inari rushed at them stupidly. Stupidly, but bravely. You got to give the kid credit, especially since he was so against the idea of heroes but I, the author, digress. Gritting your teeth, you watched as the 2 men reached to draw their swords, quickly stamping your feet to summon two large columns of earth to smash their faces before the could do any harm.

~~Again, murder was committed, but who fucking cares at this point. I don't. See, I still love you enough to allow you to murder people and all you're doing is complaining about how hard it is to save people, smh.~~

Inari looked at you in wonder, as you quickly untied Tsunami. Looking at him, you sighed before patting his head gently, "You did well, kid." Inari blessed you with the cutest face ever seen to mankind.

Resisting the urge to steal a child, you hear Naruto scream, "The hero always arrives late!" Before he jumped out brandishing a couple of shurikens. Noticing the probably dead attackers lying at your feet, he nervously laughed, "Ah ha! I see that you have defeated them, [f.name]-chan! As expected from someone like you!"

Raising an eyebrow, you ignore Naruto, turning towards Inari to say, "I'm heading towards the bridge, I have feeling your grandfather is in trouble." Patting Inari's head one last time, you added as a precaution, "Stay safe and don't do anything stupid," Before sprinting towards the construction sight, face blank as you feel worry pool into your stomach.

Hearing the sound of another person's footsteps, you turn to see Naruto running along beside you. Giving him a quick nod, the both of you ran as quickly as you were able to the battle, all the while thinking about a way to save both Haku and Zabuza.

* * *

Running across the water, you ignore Naruto's yell of, "Wait up!" and quickly dash onto the scene, fly kicking Zabuza in the ribs. Landing on your feet, you dusted off your hands nonchalantly ignoring Kakashi and Sakura's shocked faces.

Looking up at Sasuke trapped in the mirror maze and Zabuza struggling to get up, I look at Kakashi with a blank face, asking, "So... what did I miss?"

Kakashi sent me a pointed look, "Really, [f.name]?"

Ignoring him once again I stare at the dome of ice that trapped Sasuke, calmly saying, "Huh. There's that weird mirror maze I saw in a vision once. Wait, is that Sasuke trapped in the- Oh. There goes Naruto." You narrated, ducking as Zabuza swung a punch at you, watching curiously as Naruto brazenly announced his entrance and promptly dove right into the dome of ice with Sasuke.

Feeling a bit irritated, you continued to dodge Zabuza's punches and kicks easily, almost as if you could see them coming. Oh wait, you're not wearing any shoes. Growling, Zabuza huffed out as he continued to barrage you in attacks, "How are you dodging all of these!?"

Shooting him a peace sign with your other hand shoved in your pocket, you gave him a smile, "I'm not wearing any shoes."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!" Zabuza panted, taking a small pause to look at my bare feet.

Grinning, you took advantage of this small pause to kick Zabuza in the face, cackling as you did so, "Ha, made you look!" Staggering back, Zabuza snarled, unsheathing the sword that hung on his back, you gulped as he shot you the nastiest stare you ever been subjected to.

Oh dear.

* * *

Chuckling nervously I slowly backed away as Zabuza swung the ridiculously large sword. "Hey there, buddy. Not to be a spoil sport, but I like want a time-out. I do not want to be cut up today, not today at all, sir." I reasoned, before quickly dashing to the side as Zabuza swung the sword down, barely missing me by a whole 3 metres. Nice, my reflexes are apparently amazing.

I shrieked as Zabuza swung his sword at me again, rolling out of the way swiftly. Hopping to my feet, I swiftly got into a battle stance as my eyes narrowed, glaring at Zabuza. Ignoring Kakashi's shouts to, "Get back!" I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of the large body of water that flowed beneath me and took a hold of it. Moving my arms gracefully to summon a large wave to come crashing down over the side of the bridge to flow around me in 6 rings that swirled around at unbelievable speeds. Using some crazy footwork, I continued to avoid Zabuza's continuous slashes, sending powerful streams of water into his body in an attempt to throw him off balance.

"How the fuck are you doing that!?" Zabuza grunted, bracing himself as another powerful torrent of water hit him in the side.

"I hear your question and I'll raise you another, how the fuck are you still standing?!" You hiss out, "This water is like hitting you at 2,000 kPa which should be enough to send you flying across the bridge!"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means what it means, dumbass!"

Rolling my eyes, I sidestepped another swing of the sword. Down to my last ring of water, I directed the stream of water at him my arm outstretched as it hit Zabuza square in the chest. Frowning, I immediately clenched both of my hands, feeling the once soft and supple feel of the water harden as it turned, almost instantaneously, into ice, [locking all of Zabuza's limbs in place](https://media.giphy.com/media/tLiig0ZjL2Nag/source.gif). Letting a sigh of relief, I dropped my hands and walked back to Kakashi's side, who looked amazed.

Shooting me a confused look, I quickly say, "The ice won't hold Zabuza for long. He's too strong but it'll buy us some time." I turn my head to look at Zabuza's angry face as he struggled against the icy restraints.

"How long do you give him?"

"4 minutes. Maybe 3. He is pretty strong."

Nodding his head thoughtfully, Kakashi pat my shoulder, "Good job, just guard Tazuna with Sakura for now."

I dipped my head slightly in agreement, before running back to Sakura and Tazuna, who looked a little shell-shocked at what just happened. Looking at Sakura's face, I muttered quietly, "I'll explain it later."

Satisfied with my answer, Sakura turned her attention back to the battle that was happening in Haku's ice dome, her voice shaky and scared, "You were right about the mirror maze part, [f.name]-chan." Small tears welling up in her green eyes, "Your vision is coming true."

_'Oh yeah. I forgot that I told everyone that Sasuke would die, without actually telling them that he lives. Oh well, they'll find out when we get there.'_ I thought, biting my lip out of guilt instead of nervousness. Wait, was it guilt though? If anything, I was looking forward to the drama that would unfold before my very eyes as the fight ended. Watching on silently, I witness Sasuke take a couple of senbons for Naruto, snickering inwardly as he gave a dramatic 'avenge-me-brother' speech to Naruto.

Sakura screamed as Naruto activated his 'unknown' beast mode to start tearing down Haku, who finally fell with a disappointing face reveal as his mask got knocked off. Straining my ears to hear the required 'middle-of-the-battle-chat-that-will-change-the enemy's-or-ally's-mind/perspective-on-life'. Hearing nothing, I hear a loud cracking sound, thinking, _'Huh, Zabuza took 8 minutes to break out, he wasn't as strong as I thought he was.'_

* * *

[f.name] turned her attention back towards Zabuza and Kakashi, who had now engaged each other in another battle. Kakashi gritted his teeth, quickly summoning some lightning in the palm of one of his hands and dashed at Zabuza. As the lightning screeched loudly, [f.name]'s [colour] eyes widened as Haku quickly stood up and bolted in front of Zabuza with the intent of saving his life. Snarling, the [length] [colour] haired girl, quickly drew out a large amount of water, sweeping Kakashi, Zabuza and Haku up in it effectively separating the three.

Running towards them, she quickly stomped her feet, restraining the three males with a [make-shift earth handcuffs](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/AbsoluteSlightFirefly-size_restricted.gif). As the three of them struggled to pull their hands out of the restraints, [f.name] huffed, pointing to both Haku and Zabuza and panting out, "You... the both of you. You guys also need to reconsider the clients you take." Turning towards Kakashi and ignoring his glare, the girl continued on, "And you. You need to chill the fuck out."

Just as she was about to burst into her 'why can't we be friends' speech, [f.name] was interrupted by a small man cackling loudly. Feeling the exhaustion pile suddenly onto her shoulders, our dimension traveler with slightly above average stamina fell to her knees as Gato monologued about his 'feelings' and 'true intentions'. Taking a few laboured breaths, the [colour] eyed girl raised her hand and pushed the earth back down, releasing all three males from their short-lived bindings. Now on her hands and knees, [f.name] could see spots dance in her vision, looking up to meet Zabuza's softened eyes, she managed to spit out a, "You... would've died today. But.... But I changed your fate." Wheezing, [f.name] coughed, "Everyone, including you... they need a second chance. Don't. Fuck. It. Up."

Kakashi quickly scooped up the collapsed girl in his arms, looking at Zabuza and Haku, "You don't need to fight us anymore, right? Since, Gato has quickly turned his back onto you."

Zabuza looked at the unconscious girl in Kakashi's arms, replying, "She told us to not fuck it up, so we won't." Turning to Haku, they both nodded to each other, before swiftly turning to Gato and his men, completely obliterating them. Kakashi lay [f.name] gently on the side and joined in, the three of them making quick work of Gato and his hired men.

* * *

You groaned, feeling an immense tiredness fall onto you as you gingerly tried to sit up, but once again. You were bested by the blanket someone had swaddled you in. You rolled over and right into the other person that was also resting in the room, Sasuke, who also groaned and opened his eyes only to narrow them at the sight of your incredibly close face.

Chuckling nervously at the glare he was sending you, you rolled the other way, yelling out, "Someone please! I'm trapped in a room with," Pausing, you looked back to check if Sasuke was still glaring at you, he was, so you continued scream, "I'm trapped in a room with a fucking psychopath, and I want out!"

The familiar thundering of footsteps made you perk up as best as you could from your comfy prison, as Sakura burst into the room. You grinned opening your mouth to greet her, only for the smile to drop from your lips as she ran straight to Sasuke. Resigned to your fate of being trapped forever, you wondered if it was worth setting the blanket on fire, until Tsunami gently released you from the tightly wrapped blanket. Finally able to stretch out your arms, you hopped up, nearly collapsing as your legs gave way, "Woah. Was leg day yesterday or something?"

Too preoccupied with getting your balance, you didn't notice Kakashi sling one of your arms around his shoulders as he helped you up and back into the bed, "[f.name], you really pushed yourself out there and because of that, you collapsed on the field. It would probably be best if you did not do that again."

Making a small noise of agreement and pain, I wince as Kakashi gently helped you to lie down, accepting the glass of water Tsunami gave me. Sipping some water, you looked up and waved at Sakura, Inari, Naruto, Tsunami, Zabuza and Haku.

Wait, Zabuza and Haku?

Spitting out your water in shock, you ignored Kakashi drenched locks and blank face as you pointed at both Zabuza and Haku, screeching out, "What the fuck are you guys doing here?!"

Slapping you on the back of the head gently, Kakashi answered, "They're here to say thank you." Shaking his head to get rid of the water your spat out, he disregarded your whines as water droplets flew everywhere.

Haku gingerly stepped forward and did a perfect 90 degree bow, "Thank you for giving us a second chance, [l.name]."

Waving your hands in protest, forgetting that in one you held a glass full of water, you stammered out a, "P-please, just call me [f.name]. Also, you're welcome."

Spilling some water onto Sasuke and Sakura, the former who was lying on the futon next to yours, you continued to chat with Haku, Zabuza who was observing your antics bemused, as Sasuke continued to glare at you, his face now dripping wet. Growling, Saskue swiped the nearly empty glass of water out of your hand, expecting you to turn your attention onto him to retrieve it. Instead, he was blatantly ignored, as you merely turned your attention to Inari you had engulfed you in a hug.

Grinning you ruffled Inari's hair playfully, as he gossiped about the cool things Zabuza and Haku did to save the village, a gentle smile on your face as you thought, _'It wasn't so hard trying to save Zabuza and Haku without fucking up the entire plot was it now. Wait, did I fuck up the entire plot because I saved them? Nah.'_

* * *

The bridge now complete, we were all packed up to head back home to Konoha. Zabuza and Haku decided to stay behind for a while, just in case someone decided to avenge Gato's death. Haku had gotten over my attempts to praise his beautiful skin and long hair, even going as far as to let me braid his hair a couple of times, whilst Zabuza insisted on fighting me in an effort to figure out my bending. But, jokes on them, I don't even know how to explain it. Sakura, on the other hand, had to loudly state in front of everyone that my 'predictions' were incorrect.

Well, jokes on you Sakura, but that would have happened if I didn't step in, and Sasuke was like dead for around 5 minutes anyway. I didn't say his death was permanent, god. Details, details.

Saying our goodbyes, Inari had burst into tears, whilst Naruto struggled to hold his back. Ruffling Inari's hair one last time, I gave Tsunami and Taznua a quick hug, before shaking Zabuza's hand firmly and giving Haku a fist bump, saying, "I'll miss you all, but we'll see each other again, yeah?"

Haku gave a quick nod of his head, as Kakashi yelled out, "Hurry up, [f.name]! Otherwise we'll leave you behind."

Waving at the departing crowd again, I jogged to catch up to the team, swinging my arm loosely around Sakura's and Naruto's shoulders, grinning widely as I said, "I love you guys so much! You know that right?" Sakura and Naruto laughed and confirmed that they did know, whilst Sasuke made a strangled noise of acceptance and Kakashi ruffled my [colour] hair gently.

Looking up at the sky wistfully, I pondered about the up and coming events and how I would attempt to salvage the situation that would happen. _'Oh well. I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Pun fully intended.'_

**Water-bending skills: 8.5 out of 10**

**Earth-bending skills: 6.2 out of 10**

**Probability of the plot being fucked up: 33.64%**

**Success rate of 'fortune telling': 33%**

**Saving lives success rate: 100%**

**Probability of survival: 86.75%**


	10. Te-am-work?

The moment we walked through the gates of Konoha, you hear a yell of, "Surprise attack!" Promptly followed by your body hitting the floor as Konohamaru tackled you. "Big sis, I missed you!"

Quickly getting up, you scooped up Konohamaru in your arms, swinging him around as he giggled, "And I missed you to! How is being in the ninja academy, is it fun?" You ask, putting Konohamaru down only to squeeze cheeks in endearment.

"Ish fun!" Konohamaru answered as best as he could whilst you squished his cheeks. Releasing his cheeks as he hugged you, Konohamaru asked, "Can you play with us now since you're back?"

Chuckling, you ruffled his hair, "I'm sorry, Konohamaru, but we've got to report to Gramps since we've just finished mission. But I'll play with you after, okay?"

Satisfied with your answer, Konohamaru quickly thanked you then ran off, waving goodbye to the four of you. In a strangely better mood than you were before, there was a skip in your step as Kakashi led you back to the Hokage's office to send in a report. Life simply couldn't be easier.

* * *

Oh, you were wrong. So wrong.

You couldn't be more wrong in your entire life.

You had forgotten that even you had to continue to do missions with the trouble-magnets, i.e. team main characters, and here you were. Slumped across the pathway on a bridge, half-dead, burning up, and bored. So very bored. You could feel the sun burning through your skin, the heat practically roasting you alive. Shifting slightly to get into a more comfortable position, you groaned, "Hey, Sakura? How... how long has it been since the proposed time Kakashi wanted to meet up at?"

Sakura, another victim to the blasting heat, was fanning herself with a hand, her long pink hair tied up in a pony tail - something you had done when she had started to complain about the sweat - let out a loud sigh before answering, "I think its been about 3 hours? Maybe 4?"

Letting out a fake sob, you wondered how much longer this torture would take. "Tell Konohamaru.... tell him. Tell him that I love him." You whispered out, grabbing Naruto's hand in yours.

The poor blond was also suffering in the heat, his usually perky and upbeat attitude drooping visibly (as was his spiky hair). Naruto gave you a sad smile, holding onto your hand tightly, "[f.name], I'll never forget what you've done for me." Rubbing his teary eyes with his sleeve, the two of you began acting out a tragic death scene, Sakura looking on in amusement.

"Naruto, I... I've always wanted to tell you. B-but, you're a good person...."

"[f.name], don't go! There's so many things you haven't done, so many places you haven't seen, so many types of ramen you haven't even tasted, yet!"

"I'm... I'm sorry. But, this is goodbye. Remember my name, Naruto. Remember me." You whisper, letting out one last raspy breath as you finally succumbed to the heat. You flopped down onto the ground, eyes closed as you laid there, limbs limp.

Naruto sniffled, before wailing out, screaming at the sky as fake tears rolled down his cheeks, "NOOOOOOO!"

Sakura giggled at your shenanigans as Naruto feigned to take his own life - just like the amusing play by Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet. Sasuke merely looked annoyed from his comfortable place in the shade, as you immediately perked up and started laughing along with Sakura and Naruto, the latter rolling around clutching his stomach laughing uncontrollably.

Sasuke clicked his tongue in irritation, opting to close his eyes in an attempt to block out the existence of [f.name] and Naruto.

Which, honestly, hurt your feelings a little. Like damn, Sasuke. All we're trying to do is to be friends with you and you got to act like this? Disgusting.

Too tired and exhausted to complain or notice, the three of you (you, Sakura and Naruto) blankly watched at Kakashi finally decided to stroll up, smiling through his mask as he made another lame excuse, "I got lost on the path of life, sorry." He was met with the sight of one angry - but calm - Sasuke, and three uncaring students who were almost passed out from the heat and- oh my god. Was [f.name] visibly melting into the river?!

Shaking his head, Kakashi announced, "We've got some fun missions to do, so let's get to it."

His announcement was met with silence, as the sound of water flowing underneath the bridge amplified the stagnant air that settled on the 5 of you. Until you decided to speak, your voice cutting through heavy quiet that decided to place itself in your group, "I hope it's something fun and not like housework and chores. Otherwise, I'll lose my fucking mind and go bat-shit crazy and start murdering people."

Kakashi gulped, before chuckling nervously, "If you hate doing chores, then you'll love what mission we're doing."

* * *

"Ah, yes. Gardening. The love of my life, the hobby I live for, the reason for my entire existence." I cursed underneath my breath whilst angrily and vehemently pulling out the weeds.

Naruto looked almost as pained as I did, his face scrunched up as he yanked out the plants ferociously as if they were the entire reason for his troubles. Taking a look at Sakura, I had to restrain myself from snickering as one of her eyebrows twitched as she to, pulled the weeds out of the ground as if there was no tomorrow. Feeling the sun beating us down, I sighed, and stopped to take a break, straightening my back to ease out the tense muscles, just as I was about to get back at it, Sasuke's irritating voice nagged, "Get back to work, idiot."

I twitched angrily in my seat, cursing Sasuke's name to hell, before deciding this would be the best time to go human torch mode and light myself on fire. Which then promptly burned down the garden and the poor lady's plants, but the look of horror on Sasuke's face was probably worth it, it didn't really help that I was cackling loudly as blue flames covered my entire body either.

I had to restore the garden by myself after that incident and apparently Kakashi said that I should 'stop overreacting and be the bigger person.'

* * *

"Ah, yes. Picking up litter. The love of my life, the hobby I live for, the reason for my entire existence." I cursed underneath my breath whilst angrily and vehemently pulling out the rubbish from the flowing river.

~~Wait, this sounds strangely familiar.~~

Not even bothering to roll up my sleeves or pant legs, I plunged straight into the quickly flowing water, raising my arms as I felt the harsh tug of the water settled into my hands, pushing both of my hands down and back up again, I willed for only the water to rise as the litter was left on the bottom of the lake-bed. Looking blankly at Sakura who seemed a bit too immune to what had occurred, we both nodded. Sakura leaping into action to quickly collect the debris that was lying on the ground as I diverted the stream to flow directly above our heads, dropping rubbish and litter as it did so. Sasuke made a quiet noise of displeasure, as he too, joined Sakura in picking up the garbage.

Naruto was pointing to me, his blue eyes wide, "H-How did you do that!?!"

Shrugging my shoulders casually, I continued to alter the route of the water, allowing it splash back down over the side of the cliff. Turning to Naruto, whilst still casually waving my arms around - like a complete idiot - I spoke, boredom evident in my voice, "I can't keep this up for long, so unless you want to get this over and done with, you can just stand there and do nothing."

Naruto let out a loud screech before quickly joining Sakura and Sasuke who had finished most of the work already.

I dropped the water back down when we done, using the liquid to shove me back onto land, as Kakashi looked somewhat pleased at the result.

I sighed. This was pretty boring.

* * *

I watched on curiously as Naruto was pulled into a minefield by a large dog, rubbing my chin in thought I mutter quietly, "Didn't know we had a minefield, but now I know we have explosives. Which just means gunpowder. Oh ho. I need to build a gun." Still muttering to myself, I ignored Naruto's shouts for help as I devised a way to build this new weapon.

Feeling someone grab my hand, I look up to see Sakura smiling at me as she swung our interlocked hands freely, "So, [f.name]. This is pretty fun, right?" She asked, as she led a relatively smaller dog than Naruto's around.

Positively beaming at her, I replied, "This is fun, but would you like to help me build a weapon made for efficiency and effectiveness at some point in time?"

Everyone froze when I said that, even Sakura, who should be used to my shenanigans, looked a little shocked. Ah, so my proposition came out wrong, clearing my throat, I tried again, "Uh, what I meant to ask was, would you, Sakura Haruno, do me the honour of helping me build something incredible. Something that could change the way we use our weapons, an improvement on the shurikens and kunais we use in fact."

More silence.

Oh well, at least I tried. If a girl has got to do something, she might as well do it herself and get it right.

* * *

The five of you walked down the street, with Sakura and you lugging Naruto's limp body around as Sasuke and Kakashi wondered along beside you. Sakura, obviously fed up with Naruto's antics, piped up, "You're so reckless, Naruto!"

Sasuke had a smug grin on his face, as he spoke, "Geez, you are so much trouble as well."

Naruto frowned, before yelling out an indecipherable word as he shoved both you and Sakura off. You groaned, "What the heck, Naruto!" Your shoulders slumped as Sakura gently hit said boy in the face.

"Watch it, Naruto! If you act up any more, I'll finish you!" She exclaimed, one arm blocking Naruto's path.

Kakashi then had the audacity to commentate, "Huh, team work hasn't been good lately."

Naruto quickly cut int, "That's right, and it's all because of you, Sasuke!" He yelled out, shaking his face at Sasuke who had continued to walk ahead. "You just keep trying to grab all of the attention!!"

Saskue was quick with his reply. "Actually, that's only you. If you don't want to owe me big time then just get stronger, idiot."

Enjoying the drama that was happening right in front of you, you grinned excitedly as Sakura looked on in fear. As you wondered if you should instigate a fight, Kakashi announced, his face still stuffed into that small book of his, "I need to submit a report about this mission, so you guys can do whatever you want."

"Cool, I'm going to head home then." Sasuke announced.

Sakura perked up, "Let's work on our teamwork together then, Sasuke!"

"No, honestly you're worse than Naruto."

Your [colour] eyes narrowed, _'How dare this boy say that. How dare he- wait. Isn't this why Sakura works really hard though? Dammit, I can't say anything then.'_ Growling, you pulled Sakura towards you, glaring at the raven-haired boy, before turning towards the pinkette with a gently smile on your face, "Don't worry about that, Sakura! Let's train toget-"

"Sakura, let's ditch Sasuke and practice together!" Naruto cut in.

Your eyebrow twitched in annoyance as Naruto interrupted you. Silently contemplating if you should berate him for that you noticed a square box start to follow said boy around. Deciding to watch this play out, you observed as 3 smaller children popped out and introduced themselves, you [colour] eyes lighting up when you saw that Konohamaru was among them. Barely managing to cover up a loud guffaw as Konohamaru demanded for Naruto to play Ninja with them, which seems redundant.

"A ninja playing ninja, that's a little messed up." Sakura muttered, a completely empty look on her face.

Deciding to step in, you chuckled petting Sakura's back reassuringly, before waving at the smaller children, "Hey there! How's it going Konohamaru and friends?"

Konohamaru lit up like a Christmas tree, "[f.naaaaammeeeee]!! Are you going to play with us to?" He asked, before staring at Sakura with a confused expression on his face. Before you could answer, the small child whirled around and asked Naruto, "Who's this girl? Why is she- oh ho. Boss, you're a smooth operator, aren't ya?" He said, nudging Naruto in the ribs gently with his elbow.

Gulping, you attempted to drag Sakura away from what would inevitably happen. Naruto quickly replied, "Hey, you guys are pretty sharp for kids!"

You could feel something dark settle in the pit of your stomach, so you decided it would be best to take a step back and let nature run its course. Wincing, you watched as Sakura obliterated Naruto as she punched him in the face, before you froze as Konohamaru mentioned Sakura's forehead. Gritting your teeth, you screamed, "Scatter!!"

Sprinting for you life, you simply forgot what was going to happen next. But, was it your fault? No. It was because there were so many side-quests to do before the big mother of all catastrophes hit that you had simply forgotten about the existence of trouble, and when the major calamity hit. Oh, man. Did it hit hard.

Too preoccupied with the smaller missions, you had forgotten that the root of all conflict that was going to happen in the future was about to occur. That's right, the chunin exams were going to happen and you had simply forgotten that there was a shit-storm brewing in the distance.

Oh, dear lord. You were not ready for this crap at all.

**Water-bending skills: 10 out of 10**

**Fire-bending skills: 10 out of 10**

**Acting skills: over 9000**

**Probability of survival: 76.65%**


	11. Eat Dirt

_You could feel something dark settle in the pit of your stomach, so you decided it would be best to take a step back and let nature run its course. Wincing, you watched as Sakura obliterated Naruto as she punched him in the face, before you froze as Konohamaru mentioned Sakura's forehead. Gritting your teeth, you screamed, "Scatter!!"_

* * *

Feeling the hard cold ground underneath your bare feet, you ran away, not caring about the fate of the poor unfortunates behind you. Well, would you rather living the rest of your life in peace or be punched to death by Sakura's fists of fury? It's no contest, but you would rather live to see another day.

Pumping your legs as quickly as you can to flee from the scene, you managed to increase the distance between yourself and Sakura's rage, turning around random corners in an attempt to shake off the beast. Making one last left turn around the corner, you skid to a stop, clutching at your chest as you felt your lungs burn from the sprint. Breathing heavily, you take a cautious peek around the corner, letting out an audible sigh of relief as you slumped to the ground, relieved that Sakura decided to leave you alone.

Wiping the sweat that ran down you face, you groaned, tugging on your shirt in an attempt to lesson the blistering heat, "How... How do they... make running... look so effortless?"

Panting loudly, you turn back around only to find yourself staring into the face of a young boy with dusty red hair, and then through sheer animal instinct, you stomped your foot to create an earth pillar that battered the poor soul away from you, whilst screaming simultaneously, "YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT! ANYTHING YOU DO SAY CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU IN THE COURT OF LAW!" Scrambling to your feet hastily, you clumsily shifted into a battle stance, still huffing from your intense 1 minute run, your legs burning in protest of having to do more work.

Screeching loudly, you quickly stepped to the side as the a large stream of sand blasted in your direction, pivoting quickly on you dominant foot, you quickly raised more makeshift earth barriers, kicking them to send them flying towards this violent stranger whilst also simultaneously screeching out, "Eat dirt!"

Uh, excuse me, [f.name]? Just a quick reminder that the violent stranger is probably you, since you 'threw the first punch' so to speak.

Not caring about the small details on how the fight got started, you swiftly pivoted, slicing your hand through the next wave of sand that came towards you. Squaring your shoulders, you took a deep breath and yelled, "Wait! WAIT!!" Holding up your hands up to show that you mean no harm, you continued, "I'm sorry, but you snuck up on me, so I did what any other reasonable person would do when they came face to face with a stranger who is in their personal space."

* * *

To say Gaara was shocked was an understatement. He was pissed. He was so upset that he made a certain person's tantrums look like a calm sunny day on the ocean. He glared at this new girl her ran into, at first he was curious about her strange behaviour when she kept on peeking over her shoulder as if someone was trying to kill her, but after she sent a pillar of earth right into his stomach. Well, oh boy. Was Gaara mad or what?

But, other an anger, Gaara was curious and amazed. Well, mostly curious.

There was a person, well a strange person but Gaara didn't mind, who could freely manipulate the earth. Even going as far as 'stopping' his sand based attacks. Granted the [colour] haired girl did yell out a couple of strange phrases when she was surprised, but the way she moved, despite how tired she already was, was as if she knew where his attacks were coming from.

Gaara was ready to send in another stream of sand, just to really test this poor [colour] eyed girl's limits when she yelled out, "Wait! WAIT!!" I'm sorry, but you snuck up on me, so I did what any other reasonable person would do when they came face to face with a stranger who is in their personal space."

He stopped immediately. Strange. He never was one to listen to other people's orders before. But the way the girl said it was so strange? She made it sound like as if he had to stop, that there was no other alternatives other than stopping. Gaara could feel the tiny hairs on the back of his neck bristle, was it out of anxiousness? Fear? Curiosity? He wasn't sure.

Taking a closer look at the girl, he noticed that she had no shoes on, her feet were dirty and he could see small scars speckled here and there on her legs, feet, and hands. Strange.

Strange. That's all this girl was. She was strange.

Narrowing his eyes, he glared - if it was even possible - even harder at the girl who stood there, looking a little bit guilty at her previous actions. Good, she should feel ashamed. About to turn his back onto her and make his way back to his siblings, who had left him, he was surprised to hear her voice once again break the silence.

"So, um. My name's [f.name] [l.name], but call me [f.name], though. What's yours?"

* * *

You feel as if you could hammer your face into a rock wall, then plunge yourself into shark infested waters, because oh boy. Did you regret asking that question or what? Quickly swallowing the fear that bubbled up from your stomach, you decided to do what you knew best in situations like these. Shot some finger guns like the classy person you are.

The boy's answer was short and blunt, just like this axe I have in case you step out of line, "Gaara." You could instantly tell he wasn't one for small-talk or a normal conversation at all, well and the fact that he turned around swiftly after his answer to leave.

Letting out the breath you didn't know you were even holding, you sighed, "Oh god. He had a wacky hair-colour. I hope I don't have to save his ass to, in fact I hope we don't meet again after this. Because it'll be awkward." You muttered to yourself, raking your hand through your sweaty [colour] hair, before walking around to find your poor departed friends, quickly adding, "He's really cute though."

* * *

Staring at the mess of the scene in front of you, you watched on blankly, walking on to the scene as casually as you could. Pushing past the blonde girl and the boy dressed in all black, you swiftly grabbed Konohamaru out of his grip and winked at Sakura, who looked absolutely mortified, "I leave you guys for like 10 minutes and all of you nearly get murdered?" Sakura nearly cried in relief at your appearance, maybe you'll help diffuse the tense situation.

Pushing him behind you as you took a look at the two kids standing in front of you. A male dressed in all black with purple face paint and some weird bandage covered object strapped to his back who stood alongside a blond female who also had something strapped to her back. Chuckling nervously as you met the male's glare, you managed to spit out, "Sorry about that, I hope he didn't cause you trouble."

Your apology was met with silence, before you visibly perked up as the face-painted boy began to speak, "Don't worry about it. This kid, pisses me off." Your smile dropped, as he continued on to say, "It makes me want to break him."

You narrowed your [colour] eyes in distaste, "That's messed up, dude. What are you, a psychopath?" You drawled out, casually sliding your feet into your battle stance.

Sakura drooped, why did she believe that you could help iron out this situation? She doesn't even know anymore. The blonde female didn't even bother to interrupt, as you glared at male, arms slowly raised up. Face-paint man (another one of your ridiculous nicknames) slowly raised his arm, your [colour] eyes widened, quickly stamping your foot onto the ground, you barely managed to raise a thin wall of earth in time to protect face-paint from an incoming rock.

"Tch, you shouldn't have done that, [f.name]."

Scowling, I spat back, "Don't interfere with my battles, Sa-su-ke."

Face-paint boy and the blonde looked a little shocked, as I angrily forced the thin earth wall back down into the earth, their eyes wide as I let out a small puff of fire from my mouth as I exhaled angrily. Konohamaru looked at Naruto and cried out, "Why can't you be cool like my big sister or that guy!?" Pointing towards me and Sasuke.

Naruto stuttered out, "Ha, I-I could've taken this guy out in two seconds."

Growling, face-paint boy unloaded the wrapped package, the blonde girl exclaiming, "Wait! Kankuro, you're really thinking about using the crow?!"

Relaxing your stance, you look on as a calm voice cut through our small gathering, "Kankuro. Stop it. You're an embarrassment to our village."

"G-Gaara...."

Hey, you know how you said that you never wanted to meet Gaara ever again? Well, luck is not on your side today, my friend.

Looking at the red-haired boy that appeared next to Sasuke, you could feel a couple of beads of sweat drip down your forehead. Gulping, you turned your back onto Gaara shielding your face with a hand awkwardly, in an attempt to diminish your presence in hopes that he wouldn't notice you. That thought was dashed when Gaara spoke again, "We meet again, [l.name]"

Whipping your head around, you let out a few pathetic chuckles in an attempt to lighten up the dark situation, "Yo, wassup my man?"

Gaara ignored you, turning his attention onto this Kankura, before hissing out, "I'll kill you."

Nice. The cute boy is a murderer. Also, you asked a question and he didn't even bother answering, rude.

Kankaru stammered out a reply, "U-Understood, I was wrong. I-I'm really sorry."

Nodding his head in approval, Gaara continued to speak to the blonde girl and Kankuro, "Let's go. We didn't come here to play around."

Before the three newcomers could walk off, Sakura called out, "Hey! You're not from Konoha, I can tell from your headbands that the three of you are from Sunagakure! I know that the Land of Fire and Land of Wind are allies but you guys just can't come and go as you please! So, what are you guys doing here?"

* * *

To my surprise, the three kids actually stopped to answer, the blonde girl doing most of the exposition work. Yawning, I zoned out as she explained, I lazily kept an eye on Kankuro and Gaara, even daring to wink at Kankuro as we made eye contact, only letting out a quiet screech when said boy bared his teeth at me.

The sight of the three of them leaving again made me stretch out my arms, opening my mouth to speak when I was cut off by Sasuke, "Hey! You there. What's your name?"

The blonde girl pointed to herself excitedly, "W-what? M-me?"

Sasuke went straight to the point, I snickered when he bluntly shot back, "No, the one with the gourd on his back."

Gaara decided to grace Sasuke with an answer, "I'm Gaara of the desert. I have an interest in you as well, what's your name?" He asked blankly, staring at Sasuke.

"Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke answered smoothly.

I struggled to stop laughing about Sasuke's rude answer, until Sakura nudged me in the ribs softly. "[f.name], that guy is staring at you." She whispered, as I attempted to breath like normal human being.

"I.... I can't breath... Ha!" I wheezed out, ignoring Gaara and his entourage as Sakura started to fret over my current predicament.

Naruto cut in, obviously unhappy with everyone ignoring his presence, "Hey! What about me, huh? What about me?!"

Gaara was a bit too quick with his reply, "I don't care."

Choking back more laughter, I grabbed onto Sakura's arm in an attempt to stabilise myself. Waving goodbye to the backs of the 3 sand ninjas, I let Sakura drag me back to the Hokage's office, all the while trying to contain my laughter.

Have I finally lost it? Probably...

* * *

We were once again meeting up, and just like the several times before, Kakashi was late. Why didn't any of us learn from our past mistakes and just turn up later? I don't know. At this point, you were wondering if could go back home and get Sakura to tell you the news later.

Just as you were turning to Sakura to ask her, you froze as she yelled, "Why!? Why is he like this?! Every time we set up a meeting time, he's late!!"

Nodding in agreement you turn your attention towards Naruto who decided to voice his agreement out loud, "That's right! It's just unfair!"

Sakura continued to speak, "That's right! I rushed out to get here so quickly I didn't even get time to blow dry my hair!"

Naruto quickly added in his issue, "Yeah! I didn't have enough time to brush my teeth or wash my face."

Sakura and you shuddered in disgust, before you raised up your hand, catching Sakura's attention, "I can blow dry your hair with my warm air, Sakura." You offered, a small ball of air whizzing around in your outstretched palm.

"Thanks for the offer, [f.name]. But, I'm just so mad!" Sakura replied, her cheeks turning pink at your blatant offer in front of Sasuke.

Shrugging your shoulders, you give Sasuke a small wave from your seat on the ground, puzzled as he turned away from you. _'Why that little brat!'_

Before you could do any harm, Kakashi appeared with his usual excuses, which made you honestly think that he stopped trying to come up with excuses in the first place since this one was weaker than a cookie left to soak in milk. Zoning out, you absentmindedly grabbed the application form for the chunin exams from Kakashi, your brain too busy thinking about how to save a couple of more lives.

Jolting out of your thoughts, you notice that Kakashi had left and Naruto was shaking your body back and forth excitedly, "Let's go! Let's go!" He exclaimed, unaware of the fact that you couldn't stand up due to his vigorous shakes.

Finally able to stand up, the world around you spun in front of your eyes as you attempted to regain your bearings. Leaving you to your own devices, Naruto and Sasuke went ahead as Sakura assisted you to regain your normal walking abilities. Muttering out a quiet thank you, the two of you walked in calm silence, before Sakura asked timidly, "Hey, [f.name]. Can... can you help me train to get stronger?"

You grinned, before grabbing both of her hands in yours, "Of course! We haven't hung out a lot, and this is the perfect time to get to know each other!" You blurted out, ignoring Sakura's happy face you continued on to say, "You will need to teach me all of the ninja basics because I didn't go the academy so I'm pretty shoddy when it comes down to throwing kunais and stuff. I can help you with hand to hand combat, but I'm no good with jutsus..." You say, dropping visibly when you mentioned your inabilities to perform jutsus.

Sakura laughed, "Don't worry about it, let's learn all that we can, yeah [f.name]!"

You grinned, "Yeah, let's!"

**Earth-bending Skill: 6 out of 10**

**Basic Ninja Skills: Nonexistent**

**Luck: What luck, lol**

**Probability of Survival: 43.25%**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy with how this chapter ended, so I'm probably going to go over and re-write it again.
> 
> Thank you for your kind comments and support! We're up to the chunin exams, and I'm kind of excited to write this. I have some cool things in store, well I hope you find them cool.
> 
> Thank you for your support!!!!
> 
> \- mo


	12. One (1) Green Boi, Two (2) Green Bois

The days leading up to the exam date were peaceful and calm. I couldn't remember the last time I had slept so soundly before, Did you catch the sarcasm? Just so people don't get confused, I'm totally being sarcastic right now. The last few days have made me the most stressed out human on this earth, the most anxious being to ever exist in Konoha. Every single day started with training, followed by making up plans to save people's asses, then more training, then a pity party as I cried about the struggles, then more training.

Despite my efforts, I could never seemed to get the hang of air-bending, only managing to summon a sphere of swirling air was the extent of your abilities, and god dammit. It would've been so nice to be able to fly. My earth-bending was surprisingly my strength, I found it easy to grab onto the earth and manipulate it around like Play-Doh. Earth was reliable, it was strong, tangible, stubborn and hard, cold and most of the time kind of uncomfortable to sleep on.

Despite being told that my chakra type was fire, which seemed weird since I technically didn't have any, it seemed almost as hard to control as air. Granted I could will up flames easier than I could even manipulate air and earth, but the intensity of the heat and fickleness of the flames had made it hard to fully master it. Lastly, there was water. I couldn't exactly heal anyone yet like Katara could, but I found the mere act of making globs of water swirl around in the air, twisting and turning so that the light would refract in magnificent colours, absolutely calming, and just like in the TV show, you found that your water-bending was strongest when there was a full moon in the night sky.

There was a definite difference in my stance every time I used a different element, something that I hoped to get rid of, but other than that, I, [f.name] [l.name], feel absolutely prepared for the death trap I was going to walk into. As I sat at my nice desk, filling out the application form languidly, aided by the brightness of the lamp and the moon, I sighed, _'It's all fun and games until someone decides that murder is cool.'_

* * *

Doomsday had arrived, well the day that the four of you had to hand in your application forms had arrived. Burdened by the knowledge that a lot of people were not going to make it out alive from this arc, you trudged along slowly to the meeting place. You had spent the night staring blankly at the ceiling, your mind going spinning and whirring through endless possibilities or each scenario. Thoughts such as, _'What would happen if I save Sarutobi? Would that fuck things up? Can I keep Sasuke away from the weird snake man? Wait. What happens if **I** get caught by the weird snake man? Ew, gross.'_ Circled infinitely around in your mind.

Shaking your head quickly to rid yourself of those terrible thoughts, and in the process causing your vision to spin, you caught the sight of a familiar blonde in an orange jumpsuit. Raising your hand and calling out, "Naruto! There you are!" You ran towards them, waving your arms around to catch Naruto's attention.

"[f.name]! There you are!" Naruto exclaimed as you managed to make my way to the group. Slapping on an award winning smile, you high-fived Sakura and sent a mean stink-eye towards Sasuke.

Sakura gave you a shy wave, as she greeted you back, before a look of confusion crossed her face, "Uh, [f.name]? I know you were walking around barefoot the entire time we were training, but are you sure you don't want to put on some shoes for the exams?" The pinkette asked, as you glanced down to your bare feet.

Shrugging your shoulders, you made a lazy wave of dismissal as you answered, "Nyeh, I'm not really used to wearing shoes right now, plus to take them off every single time there's a fight is super time-consuming and honestly really annoying." Sakura stuttered out a quick apology at your answer. 

"[f.name], you're late." Sasuke said, his usually blank face devoid of emotion - yet, strangely enough, you could just make out a small glimmer of triumph that flickered in his eyes [he finally beat you at something] - as he continued on to say, "You better not drag us down because of that."

Mock saluting him, you replied brightly with, "Aye, aye, Captain!" 

"Tch, Idiot."

Doing what you knew best in this situation, i.e. ignore Sasuke, you turned around to happily chat and talk techniques with Sakura, with Naruto quipping up now and then to add his opinions, as the four of you casually strolled up to the building where the exam would be held. 

Making your way upstairs, you chose to fall behind the group so that Sasuke could get the four of you to where you needed to go. Pushing past the growing crowd, you made your way to the centre of the commotion, lazily watching as both a boy in a green jumpsuit and a girl in a pink shirt get pushed away by two suspiciously familiar looking males.

As Sasuke entered his spiel on how the entire thing was a genjutsu, you shoved your hands deep into the recesses of your pockets, your [colour] eyes eyeing the crowd lazily to scout the competition. Not even batting an eyelid when the green jumpsuit boy swiftly intervened Sasuke's and the spiky haired guard boy's fight. As the crowd behind us dispersed, a male's voice called out, "Lee, I thought you didn't want to carelessly attract attention be watched."

Turning our attention onto the newcomer, I was met with the sight of a boy with strangely milky white eyes and long hair and the girl in the pink shirt. Pushing your way to be right next to Sakura, you spoke, "So, what did I miss?" Glancing at the three strangers up and down, before coming a quick conclusion that they were - in fact - important characters. How did you know? They simply radiated 'I'm an important side-character!' energy, oh and the fact that they introduced themselves.

Sakura, obviously annoyed at your question - but probably because was more irritated that you never seemed to pay attention at an important time - hit your head gently, "[f.name], you can't just zone out like that every time something important is happening!"

Faking pain, you winced quietly as you nodded your head, before turning around to be surprised as a face was a mere 10 centimetres away from your own. Gulping, you took in the sight of thick eyebrows, large eyes framed with thick lashes, and the cleanest and straightest bowl cut known to mankind.

* * *

_'Oh wow, that's... that's essentially the most perfect bowl cut I've ever seen.'_ I thought, my mind instantly blocking out the commotion that went on as the boy loudly introduced himself.

"My name's Rock Lee! I haven't seen you before, what's yours?"

Stumbling out of my stupor and bewitchment, due to Lee's perfect hair, I awkwardly stutter out an answer, "Uh, [f.name] [l.name]. Just call me [f.name]."

Nearly losing my own footing as Lee grabbed both of my hands zealously in his own, my [colour] eyes widened as Lee literally shouted into my face, "Please go out with me! I'll protect you until I die!"

To be honest, what is one supposed to do in this type of situation? Let's just say that you were 'proposed' to by a stranger you've just met, the stranger seems to have a nice soul, and you don't have the heart to tell them no. Just kidding, I definitely have the heart to say no, "Uh... sorry. My mum told me that dating kills the whales."

A strange quiet fell over the group, before Sakura, who looked shocked and embarrassed, stuttered out, "N-No way! [f.name] isn't going to be your girlfriend, because she has standards!" Whilst she was telling Lee off, Sakura had managed to tug me behind her.

Naruto was also quick to add in his own opinion, "Don't even think about touching [f.name], bushy-brows!"

Furrowing my eyebrows, I quickly ruffled both Naruto's and Sakura's hair, as I sighed, "I don't have time to date, don't worry guys. The only thing on my mind is ~~the sweet release of death~~ is making sure that all of us pass with the least casualties."

Sakura looked relieved and Naruto grumbled as he crossed his arms angrily. Sighing I turned back to ignore what was going to happen next, started to once again observe the other contestants, watching their movements closely as Sasuke and the milky-eyed boy, who we've learnt was called Neiji Hyuuga, rambled on about their goals. They were, fortunately, interrupted by the girl, with the twin buns, pushing her teammates away with a polite chuckle, "Sorry about that, my name's Tenten. We'll see you guys around, yeah?" Tenten was somehow managing to drag Lee along the ground by the collar of his jumpsuit whilst simultaneously push Neiji down the corridor. Which was somehow, very, very impressive.

Shooting Tenten a thumbs-up, I quickly followed my wonderful 'We are the main characters, suck our balls' teammates down the corridor, observing our unimportant competition along the way.

* * *

Sakura and Naruto were strangely quiet as the Team 7 (version 2) walked towards the exit of the weirdly large and empty space of the room, [f.name] was absentmindedly playing around with a small ball of blue flames in her hands, manipulating the small orb of light as it whizzed around various parts of the girl’s body.

Before our beloved protagonists could even make it halfway to the exit, a familiar voice called out, piercing the awkward silence that befell onto our ‘heroes’, “Stop right there!”

Sasuke and Naruto merely turned around to face the speaker, whilst Sakura let out a quiet squeak in surprise and [f.name] shrieked loudly, accidentally dropping the small ball of fire, its flames hitting the cold stone and extinguishing in a small plume of smoke. Lee was standing on top of the rails of the balcony, precariously perched as he confidently stood, his voice echoing in the empty hall/room, “You! The boy with the black hair! Face me!”

Sasuke replied on the behalf of his teammates, as his onyx eyes burned holes deep into Lee’s head, “No. You’re not worth my time.”

Undeterred, Lee flipped off of the rail, landing on his two feet perfectly as he continued to speak, “I am Rock Lee. Earlier, you said that it was common courtesy for a challenger to give their own name first. Isn’t that right, Sasuke Uchiha?”

Sasuke clicked his tongue in irritation, both of his hands still shoved deep into his pockets as he sneered, “You’ve heard of me, then?”

As Sasuke and Lee glared at each other in a battle of dominance, [f.name] turned to both Sakura and Naruto, her own eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she asked, “So… are we, you know, going to hand in these application forms? Or are we going to sit here? What is happening?”

Naruto and Sakura looked just as confused and conflicted as the [colour] haired girl, Sakura whispering her answer into [f.name]’s ear, “I literally have no idea what’s going on right now.” Turning to Naruto Sakura asked, “Hey, Naruto. Do you know what’s happening?”

Naruto was rubbing his chin, his blue eyes squinting at the scene in front of the 3 bystanders, before loudly whispering back, “I have no idea either.”

Sasuke turned to his teammates, his intense glare now directed towards them, “We can hear you, idiots.” Sakura, Naruto and [f.name] quickly shrunk underneath his gaze.

The next sentence that came out of Lee’s lips quickly cut through the heavy tension that filled the large room, “Let’s fight, Sasuke. I’ve heard about how great the Uchiha clan is, but I want to see if the legends live up to the reality. This would be a good test for me.” Lee was unperturbed by Sasuke glare, he pointed towards [f.name], who was huddled with her teammates, as he continued to say, “But, I also want to prove to you, [f.name]. That my love and devotion for you, knows no bounds!”

Sakura screeched loudly into [f.name]’s ear, “Stop flirting with her!” She yelled out, her own face red with anger as she pointed to Lee and gestured wildly with her hands, “There’s no way you’re good enough for [f.name]! Those eyebrows, that hair! It’s disgusting!”

Naruto was nodding his own head, as if he agreed with Sakura’s words. Lee was, yet again, calm as he blew a copious number of kisses in the direction of the [colour] eyed girl who simply summoned a large earth wall to block his various attempts.

Sasuke was quick to get Lee back on track, “You’ve heard of the accomplishments of my clan, and yet you’re challenging me? Dumbass. I’ll show you that there is no difference between what you’ve heard and what is real.”

From behind [f.name]’s wall of safety, Sakura asked, “Hey, what do you think is happening now?”

[f.name] shrugged her shoulders, “They are probably still glaring at each other or something.”

Naruto spoke up, “Dammit, why does no one know who I am? It’s always Sasuke-this and Sasuke-that! When will I be good enough?” His hands were curled into tight fists as he spoke, his face scrunched up as he spat out those words angrily.

[f.name] looked at the blond boy sympathetically, rubbing his back in reassurance as she quietly said, “In due time, Naruto. In due time.”

Thus, as Sasuke was battling it out with Lee, and losing horribly, his own three teammates sat behind the earth wall and had a meaningful chat, each person confiding in the other, unknowingly ignoring the fact that Sasuke was getting his ass kicked.

* * *

You yawned, stretching out my arms and letting out a hiss of content as you could hear the satisfying crack of the air-bubbles escaping your ligaments. Thinking back to the events that happened earlier in the day, you scrunched up your nose in distaste as you remembered what had happened after Lee kicked down the earth wall. Some man, who looked abnormally like Lee, had cut into Sasuke and Lee’s fight, and broke off into a spiel about the beauty of youth and life.

Then, there was a speaking turtle in the background, some scenes probably taken out of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, some crying and hugging, and both Lee and his older counterpart, which the four of us had learnt was Kakashi’s ‘rival’ whose name was Might Guy.

Shaking your head to rid myself of those thoughts, you sighed. Kakashi had greeted us when we handed in our applications, to not only congratulate us but to also say a couple of things.

_“Generally, only groups of three are allowed into the exams, but there’s an exception for your group. Well, first of all, there is four of you. Secondly, [f.name] hasn’t technically passed one of our standardised exams yet, so this is a way to gauge your abilities. Finally, I know I said that taking the exam was a decision that each of you should take, but if one of you didn’t actually hand in the application or turn up, then none of you would have been able to take this year’s chunin exams. Well, all of you except for you, [f.name]. It’s actually compulsory for you to take this exam.”_

Massaging your temples gently, you followed closely behind Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke as they walked towards the classroom where the first phase of the exam will be held.

_‘Dear God, or Gods, please let me leave this exam alive and with, preferably, no harm done to me. I would like to live to see the next season of Brooklyn 99, thanks.’_ You thought, as Sasuke slid open the door and stepped in. You felt your stomach drop as the four of you were met with glares, _‘Never mind. God? If you’re up there, let me live so I can eat more chicken nuggets. Thanks.’_

**Zoning out of important parts of the conversation skill: Legendary**

**Probability of Survival: 46.85%**


End file.
